Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! Not a car!
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car!

It could be a motorcycle
Or maybe a unicycle!
(Possibly a paracycle
If those exist!)

An Oscar Meyer wiener truck!
A submarine or six-wheeled duck!
A roller skate or hockey puck!
(That'd be a cool ride!)

Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! Not a car!
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! (It's not a car, baby!)

Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! Not a car!
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car!

Maybe it's a motor boat
Thanksgiving Day parading float
Or just a scruffy billy goat
Or ALL THE ABOVE!
It's a Dr. Seuss machine
That's engine's powered up with steam
And piloted by Charlie Sheen!
(He's got tiger blood!)

Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! Not a car!
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! (Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!)

Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! Not a car!
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car!

This ain't a car; not sure what it is, though
All I know is what I ride's the shiz, yo!

A jeep! A tank! A fish! A plank!
A broom! A bomb! A llama!

A bike! A ball! A toilet stall!
I'm riding on yo' momma!

I'm on a jet! Now I'm riding on a bag pipe!
I'm on a camel! Upside down on a stalactite!
A glider or TIE fighter or a giant mecha spider!
I ride go karts, Humphrey Bogart, parts of Large Hadron Colliders!

I'm on Titanic! Now I'm rolling on a boulder!
I'm on a zeppelin! Now I'm riding Alfred's shoulders!

I'm on a bus inside a whale hung from a space ship!
I'm on a pig, inside a wheel -- we're on a film strip!

I'm on balloons hooked to a jet-pack parachuter!
Now I'm singing in the shower on YouTube on your computer!

I'm hanging from a train! I'm on a plane! I'm jousting Bain!
Lamborghini's more my thingie! Shut you face up, Michael Caine!

It could be a UFO! A tidal wave of Cheerios!
An Autobot, for all we know!
They'd make a sweet team!

A boomerang! A giant bat!
A Pinkie Pie! A cowboy hat!
A rainbow, pop-tart Nyan Cat!
Oh, go, Batman, go!

Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! Not a car!
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! (Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!)
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! Not a car!
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car!

Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car! Not a car!
Oh, this isn't a car!
Not a car!