[Verse 1]
I had a one night stand with my best friend's baby sister
And to this day he still won't speak to me
I pawned my grandpa's old guitar in college
For a case of beer and a tank of gasoline
I took a swing at my old man one Christmas
I never dreamed that it would be his last
I wish mom had wrung my neck
When she caught me with those cigarettes
Which reminds me, I'm down to my last pack

[Chorus]
If I had a dime for half the things I did
That didn't make no sense at all
I'd be living a little higher on the hog
If only I'd've known that later on down the road
I'd look back and not like what I see
I'd've changed a lot of things
Starting with me

[Verse 2]
I called my brother everything I could think of
The night he wouldn't bail me out of jail
I lost a job most folks around here would die for
By laying out all night and raising hell
And I let a woman that I love slip through my fingers
Chalk another dumb move up to my foolish pride
I wasn't there standing by the bed
When the preacher bowed his head
With the family, the day my grandma die
[Chorus][x2]