[Har Mar Superstar]
In the not-too-distant future
Next Sunday, AD
There was a guy named Jonah
Not too different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another mug in a yellow jumpsuit

[Jonah]
Hello? Hello! What the heck?

[Har Mar Superstar]
A distress call came in for him at half-past noon
That's when an evil woman trapped him on the dark side of the moon

[Kinga]
I'll send him cheesy movies
The worst I can find (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor his mind (la la la)

[Har Mar Superstar]
Now keep in mind that Jonah can't control
When the movies begin or end
So he'll have to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends

Robot Roll Call
Cambot!
Gypsy!
Tom Servo!
Crooooow!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show
I should really just relax"
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!