Tim Blais
NERDS: A Manifesto
I got a lyrical proclivity
Special like relativity
General knack of physics
Incredible rap ability
Feeling me? Don't tell me these glasses lack in virility
I'm physically intimate yo
Cause physics is into me
The cold open
Nerds from CERN to Hoboken
The soft spoken
When talking openly
Gets your nose broken
It's no joke and I'm
Not hoping to make light
Just throwing a rope
If you got no hope
To hang tight
Dang right
I know what high school life is like
Can't fight
When every bully is twice your height
Turning the pages fascinated up late nights
By day worried cause other girlies don't think your weight's right
But stay bright little nerdling
Cause when the hard part's done you got the world on a string
Leaving home as a hobbit you'll return as a king
Cause modern life is brain boxing and you're lord of the ring
It goes
Nerds!
Our name since junior high
But now we're Doctor Last Name saving juniors' lives
It goes
Nerds!
We got pushed at the front of the class
But now we running banks pushing fat stacks of cash
It goes
Nerds!
Ears burnin but we never let it catch fire
Stayed calm built a dot com empire
Nerds!
So keep your pride with your face in the dirt
Cause it's no secret that the geek shall inherit the earth
I'm repping nerd rights
Because we're hotter than thermite
Sharper that any pencil
At the start of the term
Might I suggest
That next to any text a nerd writes
That Hollywood gossip whoring
Is boring like a termite
Cause we're the greats
From Shakespeare to Cape Fear
Oscar nom dot com bubbles in your great beer
Engineers need a mention here
For turning tension and stress
Into a professional career
Yeah we've learned to be relentless
So whether you're a chemist
Inventor of medicines
Or a dental hygienist
Apprentice in theoretical dietetics of lettuce
Just get up and represent;
You know the world has got a nerd fetish
So all my geeks in the closet living secretly
I see you sneaking nature docs on the BBC
No time to hide, take pride in our legacy
Cause it's a brand new world; 51 Pegasi
Nerds!
You say we're lame; are you kidding me?
We run your day from your games to your Twitter feed
Nerds!
You think great techs can't have great sex?
We study Wikipedia pages and type in LaTeX
Nerds!
Kept you blind, under cover like a peregrine
Sly enough to leave you Hufflepuffin' while we Slytherin
Nerds!
I never got to be fly as a kid
But my vocabulary gave me sick rhymes to spit
I studied science
Grew up to be a rhyme sayer
No Minnesota connection, one of a kind
Say you're pumping iron?
I'm pumping ions through this bilayer
You can't abide this myelin if you try, player
Mind greater than a giant Ghana land snail
Sign "theta" when I'm answering my fan mail
Rhymes get under your skin just like a hang nail
Wits make you dizzy better hold on to the handrail
I know my limits
So don't you try to limit me
Won't be derivative
Spitting back what you're giving me
What matters is understanding patterns and symmetry
So I'll be integrating your factual data lyrically
OMG so OP These NERDs
Got the ATP to defeat all you NPCs
LCD to your CRT
TNG to your TMZ
ICBM to your TNT
Cause we're explosive like caesium
Bright like burning magnesium
Swallow you like amoebas
Enveloping paramecium
Fighters right in our element
Like a knight in Elysium
When we bridle the elements
Hell we make it look easy hon
You think it looks easy? Umm..
Well how bout we face off?
Ignoring laboratory procedure?
You'll blow your face off
So keep your He-Man stats in your grey skull
Cause grey matter is power
That's the power of Grayskull
Nerds!
They called us ADHD, made us take pills
Now we're rippin 88 keys, rocking great skills
Nerds!
If you ever took band or theatre
Take a bow to the haters
And say "Calc-u-later!"
Nerd!
You don't appreciate this high tone
Tell me again how you would die without your iPhone
Nerd!
Music, science and art, the trifecta
Kneel before the mighty pocket protector