[Intro: Arthur Korb]
It was the voice of a courageous explorer, a man dedicated to the pursuit of man's knowledge and the expansion of his horizons

[Chorus]
The funkiest, (We're the) the funkiest (8x)

[Son Doobie]
Check it, all I need's a second to wreck it
My thoughts are collected for the funk, expect it
I'm iller than a porno, I got skills like Zorro
Who's Perry Como? Tomorrow, tomorrow
Like Orphan Annie, yo it's the uncanny
Doobie, with bonified funk for your fanny
Suckers, I pick 'em, so who be my victim
BLRRLL stick 'em, and boogers, I flick 'em
I'm guilty your honor, I rock like Nirvana
So fuck a piranha, just like Jeffrey Dahmer
I'll slice 'em, dice 'em, MCs...ice 'em
You'll step to the Son then I'll fuck you guys up

[Chorus]
The funkiest, (We're the) the funkiest (8x)

[Son Doobie]
Ring around the rosies to the funk, you punk
I flips, smacks, and paddy wack and does all that junk
Watch how many scram, they're sweet like candied yams
But I freak the style like if I was Handiman
"Uh-oh, um I think we're in trouble"
Cause girls call me Dumbo, and guys wanna rumble
Yet I'm hard like a diamond, I'll sing like Phyllis Hyman
The action packed rhyming like uh Simon & Simon
Binaca? Word! The funk, it smells like turd
Cause mommy will buy you a mocking bird
Mary's quite contrary, taking out these fairies
Eatin' up they asses like Tom did Jerry
[Chorus]
The funkiest, (We're the) the funkiest (8x)

Breakdown
Yo son, kick that shit

[Son Doobie]
Hey Peter, Peter, you fat pumpkin eater
You know I kicks flavor just like Velveta
I'll scream like Aretha, so follow the leader
From here to Medina, like Sarafina
I yell hellalujah, then plan like Lex Luther
To mastermind the funkin'. Do ya, do ya?
The crazy ill Hitler, who performs like a fiddler
I'm ill like the Riddler, fuck a Bette Midler

[Chorus]
The funkiest, (We're the) the funkiest (8x)