So
I am on the 6th train heading uptown to my lit. Professors office
It's like light years off of campus
Don't ask me why
I'm sandwiched in-between this guy who's literally drooling
And this European hipster who, well lets be honest, smells

Wood Allen heard Gershwin in the air when he thought Manhattan
Well I'm not so impressed, I hear like Philip Glass best
I wish I could take a second to get
Calm
But it's not working

Cause like clearly I'm a magnet for a special breed of psycho who think being weird is a valuable use of time
And my notebook likes to wander on its own across the city taking with it my whole thesis which I need to write like, now
I don't remember the Muppets getting hives
When they took Manhattan
But my own diagnosis says I'm creeping toward psychosis
Cause I cannot find a place to get
Calm
It's really hard

You know I tried to take up yoga
But you'll be surprised how many folks don't think deodorant is Zen
I even saw a life coach who told me I should breathe
Just breathe
But every time I took in a breathe
I visualize dthat life coach's death
She's having brunch at cafe Pierre
And she's choking
And choking
And choking
And choking
Till finally she's calm

I'm sorry
Anyway, I get to my professor's and he sits me down and tells me that my thesis on Virginia Woolf feels somehow false
I tell him what I'm working from is not so much a thesis
As the fact that she went crazy
And that seems, well, apropo
My professor just tosses back his head
And a dry Manhattan
I'm wondering which will him quicker
The big apple or the liquor
When suddenly I panic
And I tell myself I must get someplace
Calm

I up and run toward Penn station like I swear my head was ready to blow
And I hop a train to Jersey
Just as fast as any person can go
Then 90 minutes out
I get off at some provencial hamlet I've never heard of
There's a real state office right on the block
I can afford a two bedroom
I go into shock
I think, what the heck
I write a check
Cause there's sunlight, and closets, and laundry
But mostly it's calm
Calm
Calm
Calm
Calm
Really calm
Strangely calm
Like time square at five A. M. Calm
Like totally freak me out calm
Like I'm gonna slowly go crazy and throw myself over the balcony calm

Damn it

So
I tear up my deposit
And I head back to Penn station
Of course the subway's broken
So I walk four miles home
And like 14 hours later
I get back to my apartment
With my crazy spastic roommates
And a room, well, of my own
I've got this black and white poster on my wall
That says "my Manhattan"
And I give it the finger
But I let my gaze linger
And I notice how the people look like tiny specks of grey
All haphazardly arranged like they were in that Monet
And suddenly I'm stuck with this bizarro revalation that Warren's whacked-out theory might deserve some exploration
I sit on my bed
And I realize I'm finally
Calm