​j. sula
LOST IN MADRID, PT. 2
[Verse 1]
A knock on the door, that's all I needed
Buddy sprawled out on the floor, too many field trips, yeah
I was made to be great since I was a fetus
Guess the file that God had got deleted
Shit in my pocket, shit on my plate
Trying hard to be strong, trying to stay
But if you give me some slack, I'll run away
Pressed like an olive, leaving oil on the steak
Press gon' report on another death today
Left on the shores like a fucking castaway, and
If I'm lost in Madrid, in the sin, and my fate really sealed
I'm gon' need a better place, real
Got damn funny how it shake out
Fam keeping tabs like they on a fucking stakeout
Bills still coming and them lips keep running
Oh my God, this a prison for me, I'm about to break out
How's it feel to have a little support?
Been a couple years, I passed my peers
Still getting ignored, well
Used to hate the past and now the future worse (ugh)
The present never-ending, an eternal curse
My hand dealt by the house dealer
Hanging with the gang, we stepping out, we some gorillas, aww
Let me know if you feel it
Ain't gon' be a victim no more, I'm a young killa
[Verse 2]
Still been popping off when on the mic
But feeling pretty awkward when I'm brought into the light
Every day the same, it's all behavioral inertia
Drawing up my will, and signing dotted lines in cursive
Drawing up a blank when future enters conversation
Walking to the bank after I finally get a placement
How could things be getting worse than I ever imagined?
Wouldn't be so bad for me if one day, I just vanished
Heaven feeling further than Earendel
Got so many secrets that I'll honestly never tell
You're better off not knowing the truth
I came out alive, but it's stolen my youth
Yeah, perspective is a bitch
Had my windows blacked out, so nobody could snitch
In the end, it doesn't matter, I'm still fucking tired
Sitting on the park bench, waiting 'til I expire