​j. sula
Discussions in a Lobby
[Verse 1]
Discussions in the lobby, crying in my head
Light surrounding me as I lay in my bed
Emaciated even though I'm very fed
When I think about it, I wish I was dead
If I leave this world, where will I even go?
Do we even know? Driving on the road
Got no destination, I'm just upping mileage
Pain is my deposit, searching never finding
Doing fine until that night
When I tried not to take my life

[Verse 2]
People told me growing up
When you're older, you'll become
Wise man, bеaring gifts
Now all we share is rifts
Complicated, that's an undеrstatement
Stream of consciousness, I think I'm going crazy
I should've known not to go in
Should've known the past gon' win

[Interlude]
It's like, it's not like I haven't tried, it's just
Nothing ever works, know what I mean?
The image of that alone is just enough to
Scar your brain for life
It's impossible to get rid of
It's hard, every time I see that
[Verse 3]
Off the market, please don't start this
We were doing good, stop it
Feel like the help doesn't help
Funny, 'cause I dropped the bomb on myself
I'm just talking, she got bodies
I was off it, keep on walking
Overwhelming, over-selfish
I'm sorry if I hurt, but I can't help it
On my knees, so I can pray
But I'll be pleased if I passed away

[Verse 4]
But it's difficult to see a life without you
I can't breathe to think about my life without you
I can't leave you with the ones who sleep around you
So it's clear that I can't live a life without you
Almost left the world without a note explaining
Pressure in my chest was causing cavitation
I can't even take a step or lay here dormant
Without thinking 'bout the ones who lay before me
Time is precious and I got too many reasons
Why I gotta buckle up and trash these feelings