Richard Pryor
Have Your Ass Home By 11:00
Some fuckin' is good for you, though, jack
Gettin' some pussy beats having a war
I ain't lyin', cummin' is a lot of fun
'Cause I never got no pussy when I was a legal teenager
Not much, girls, "Ah, I don't wanna fuck you, you can't even sing"
You had to sing or something to get some pussy
Right? Girls used to do horrible shit to a n***a, boy
'Cause they weren't giving up no pussy, in the '50s
It was very seldom you got any parts of pussy
Right? You be tongue kissin' and shit, jack
Dick get harder than times in '29
Right? Nuts go all up in your stomach
You ever had that? You go—you be, "Oh, you gotta give me some now"
"I'm not giving anything, I'm on my period"
"You on your period again? You gon' bleed to death, bitch!"
And I tried to get home before 11:00
'Cause that's when my father had me be home, by 11:00
My father was one of them 11 o'clock n***as
"Say, say, where you going, Richard?
Huh? Well, n***a, you ain't ask nobody could you go no place!
What the fuck, you a man now, n***a?
Get a job that's with jets!
I don't give a fuck where you go, be, be home by 11:00
You understand 11:00 don't you, n***a?
You can tell time, can't you?
Well, what's that clock say in the kitchen, n***a?
The clock, muthafucka, what the clock say?
11 o'clock, bring yo' ass here!
I don't mean down the street singing with them n***as either!
I ain't gettin' your ass outta jail no more, muthafucka!
That's right, and bring me back a paper"
Right, and you go out, nothin' start happenin' 'til 11:30
Right? All the dudes be just standing around and shit
I said, "What you waitin' on, man?"
"11:30—we gon' get your bitch at 11:30"
And I'd have to get home, man, with my blue nuts, all, "Oh, oh God"
You know, get home
"N***a, I thought I told you be home by 11:00?!
I don't wanna hear that shit
I'ma kick yo' ass!"
"Can I jack off first?"