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đ Join the Affiliate Program Now I think the only brave thing I might have ever done in my life⊠was once I worked at a Mafia nightclub. Out in Youngstown. Ohio. I was 19. I was 19 years old. Right? And I didnât know shit about the Mafia. My father was the baddest motherfucker I had ever seen. So the Mafia didnât mean shit to me. I did not relate to the Mafia. I worked with this lady. Satin Doll. She was the star of the show. Beautiful black stripper. Right? âCause usually in those days⊠in clubs they had a singer and a stripper and a M.C. I was the M.C., and she was the first black star I ever met. Duke Ellington had written a tune about her. Thatâs what she used to dance to and act. She was beautiful. She was 60 then. Oh. This bitch was fine though. Man. Iâm not lyinâ. Lena Horne didnât have shit on her. And she was cryinâ backstage⊠âI gotta get to Buffalo. They wonât pay me.â I said, âWho wonât pay you?â âClub owners.â I said. âOh, them motherfuckers are gonna pay me. Bet that.â This is how ignorant I was. I had a cap pistol. You know. Them blank starter pistols. I busted into the office with this motherfucker. Talkinâ about⊠âAll right. Give me the money. Motherfucker!â Doing my best black shit. You know. You know. That shit usually scare whitey to death. And these motherfuckers didnât do nothinâ. Iâm sure that those men⊠are sitting in that room today. Laughing. âCause thatâs what this dude⊠He just started to laugh. âThis fuckinâ kid. Wait a minute. Hey. Tony. Come here. Rich. Do the gun again. Hey. Tony. Come here. Stickup! This fuckinâ kid! Come here. Come here, you fuckinâ kid. Heâs got a pair of gagoozies on him, huh? Fuckinâ kid. Come here. Goddamn.â They like to hug you and rub you. âCome here.â And grab your face. âThis fuckinâ kidâs got some gazoolas.â And they always say shit you donât understand. âHey. You wanna go⊠Hey. Paulo. Tix him a little⊠Put some struzi on it. Fry it up. They like fried foods. Fuckinâ kid, huh? He come in here. Had a gun, the fuckinâ kid. Huh? Pay everybody oft. Pay âem off. Itâs all right.â They paid everybody off, let everybody go and kept me. Like a pet. âI fuckinâ like this kid. You got family? Well. You got family now. Who is it, Carmine? Tell him I call him back. Tell him itâs a stickup.â Then these motherfuckers start tellinâ murder stories. âHey. You remember when Oozie⊠Remember when I made my fuckinâ bones? Me, I had to go away. It was Cleveland, right? Fuckinâ teamster. Big mouth. Hurt a lot of people. Right? You know, ice pickâs my thing, Rich. So we fuckinâ had to drive down. Me, Johnny Salami⊠the Gaboozo brothers. They own a funeral parlor. âYou carry. We bury.â Come here, you fuckinâ kid. So we take this jerk-off out bowling, you know. Drive him around. Get him a few drinks. âHey, letâs get some broads. Right? â A little motel we had set up. You remember that, Johnny? So. We take him around. He gets kinda stoned. Drops his glass. I say, âNow.â I pop him with the fuckinâ ice pick. Right? Iâm poppinâ this cocksucker. Bloodâs squirting every which way. He says, âOh. God! Donât kill me! â âOh. fuck you. You guinea cocksucker.â And the fuckinâ ice pick breaks. Iâm standinâ there with a fuckinâ piece of wood in my hand! I said, âJohnny Salami. What do I do? â Johnny says, âWait till it melts, asshole.â Those were the good old days. Whatâs the matter. Rich? You donât look so good. Hey, Paulo, give him a little⊠You got a way home. Or do you want us to give you a ride?â Donât go out with the Mafia. âCause you canât buy âem dinner. They always like to take entertainers to dinner. They take you to dinner, and they pick up the check all the time. And it you get mad, you say, âLet me buy the check tonight. Goddamn it. You guys buy me dinner every night.â âHey, kid, let me tell you somethinâ. Weâre crime⊠and crime donât pay.â The Mafia people are weird people, âcause they appeal⊠They appeal to your intellect. They do. Them motherfuckersâ appeal says⊠âYouâre an intelligent person. Arenât you? And you realize that itâs very difficult⊠to walk without knees.â And one time I was in a room with one of these motherfuckers⊠and I donât know how to describe⊠You ever seen a face just turn to stone? I mean. I was talkinâ to the man. And somebody was over here⊠talkinâ about something that had pissed him off⊠that he was gonna deal with⊠and it went from a nice conversation with me⊠A stone thing came over his face. It was like⊠And a chill went through my fuckinâ body. I said. âThis motherfuckerâs dead. Iâm lookinâ at a dead man that walks around.â âCause it was just stone, man. There wasnât no compromise. There was nothinâ in there where you could go⊠There was none of that in the face. I said⊠âBoy, thatâs a look Iâd like to get, just to whip on a motherfucker.â You know. Just say. âWhat?â Remember that in The Godfather? That to me was the most chilling line in the world. When the guy said⊠âHey. Could you let me off? Just tor old timeâs sake?â And the guy said⊠Boy. That had to be the coldest shit in the world. And you gotta get in the car with him. Then you got to beg some more in the car. You ainât gonna stop begginâ. As long as heâs got breath in his body. You get in the car. Heâs talkinâ about, âHey. Jack. I remember when I showed you how to drive.â Jack be goinââŠ