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đ Join the Affiliate Program Now All Italian people are not in the Mafia. Whether you believe it or not. Theyâre not. Really. Most of them work for the Mafia. But theyâre all not in the Mafia. What? â Do what? â Mudbone, Richie! All right, this is the last time Mudbone will be seen anywhere. This is Mudboneâs last show. Ladies and gentlemen, from Tupelo. Mississippi. Mudbone. You know⊠Now, I know that boy. See. He fucked up. See. That tire got on his ass⊠and it fucked him up upstairs. Fried up what little brains he had. âCause I remember the motherfucker. He could make a motherfucker laugh⊠at a funeral on Sunday. Christmas day. But you know what happened? He got some money. Thatâs what happened. He got some money! Them missed meal cramps and shit was gone. He said. âFuck it.â Went all the way crazy. Shit, now me? Iâm still hungry. See. Iâm gonna be out here four days and six months. I watched this boy, Rich. He used to come by. Leave me a dollar here. Fifty cents there. He was all right, you know. He would never lend me five. Though. But he let me have them twoâs and tews. You know. So I felt tor the boy. I went over there and talked to him. And he ignorant. âcause I sit down to talk to him⊠You donât let him get none of that powder in his nose. Thatâs like tryinâ to talk to a baboonâs ass. I talked to the boy seven days and seven nights. He was still on the same subject. âWhere can I get some more?â So I talked to him. You know. I said⊠âBoy, why donât you do something with yourself? Since religion ainât your thing⊠maybe you take up ballet.â It makes me laugh, thinkinâ about it. I told him, âCause you gonna be black a long time. So you might as well enjoy yourself⊠âcause there ainât many black motherfuckers out there doinâ it.â He said, âDonât stop now.â I said. âDonât lighten up. Tighten up.â Thatâs what I told him. And he must have listened to me. He was gonna register to vote. I knew he was sick then. So. Listen. Iâm not gonna steal the show from the boy. I ainât gonna do that. So, Iâm gonna⊠The boy got the camera. Only white folks can do that. And they make it look like such a mystery. They never let no black people do no shit like that. The only time you see black people doing some of that shit⊠is when they want the plug plugged in. âSay, boy. Plug that in.â Thatâs how you be sayinâ. âI works on the camera crew.â I say. âWhat you do?â âPlug in the thing.â I say. âA monkey can do that.â Guess thatâs why they hired him. See, Iâve lived through hard times before. People talk about these as hard times. Hard times was way back. They didnât even have a year for it. Just called it âHard Times.â It was dark all the time. I think the sun came out on Wednesday. And it you didnât have your ass up early. You missed it. So I happened to be out there one Wednesday⊠and the sun hit me right in the face. I grabbed a bunch of it and rubbed it all over myself. Shit. I didnât have nothinâ else. Might as well have some sun on my face. And as time went on. I remembered it was Thursday. I said. âDamn. That sun was a bitch. Thatâs why they didnât want us to have none of it.â âCause itâd cheer you up inside. You see. So I got all cheered up⊠and went out on a date. Lucinda Belle Mae. The girl was pretty. Coal black. Her skin was tender⊠like a babyâs butt. Her sweet breasts smelled like Carnation milk. Thatâs how tender she was. I liked her, too, you see. She had a little liking to me. So Lucinda⊠Weâd have to tip away. Weâd go up and do a little kissinâ up in the apple orchard. Weâd tip away together on Wednesday morninâ⊠when the sun was up. Weâd get up there. Iâd make her put a little on her face⊠and she relaxed. When she relaxed. I started rubbinâ all over her. Women like when you rub on âem⊠if you rub âem in them right spots. You know. You got to rub âem right there. Right on the inside of her leg by the kneecap. Rub âem right there. And you rub it around until it starts burninâ. They open up then. Boy. âCause there ainât but two pieces of pussy youâre gonna get in your life. Thatâs your first and your last. And all that shit in between donât count. Thatâs just the extra gravy. They say. âWhenâs the last time you got some pussy?â I say. âYesterday. Thatâs as tar as I want to remember it.â I donât want to sit around. Some motherfucker ask me⊠âHow long you had some pussy?â I go⊠I donât want to live that long. What Iâm sayinâ⊠What the point Iâm tryinâ to make is⊠that there is no point to be made. Thatâs all that there is. There ainât no point to it. âCause you didnât ask to come to this motherfucker⊠and you sure canât choose how to leave. âCause you donât know when youâre gonna go. So donât take this shit serious You better have some tun and plenty of it. âCause when the shit old and you ask for a recharge, itâs too late. So all I can say is keep some sunshine on your face