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Richard Pryor
Freebase
I was up in Oakland with some old friends. I mean, motherfuckers I’ve known a long time. And I have changed as a person inside, right? There was an old dope dealer. Motherfucker used to… I used to follow him around for dope. And I always paid him. But it was always on credit or something… and the motherfucker acted like I was one of his pets. I started saying, ā€œWait, motherfucker. I paid tor the dope. I didn’t live at your house. I had my own apartment.ā€ But he was acting like I was one of his bitches… and then. You know. He got real mad… ’cause I fired on his ass. I say, ā€œNo. Motherfucker, I wasn’t never like that.ā€ I had my shirt oft and I was sitting on the couch… and suddenly he says something about… When you signify. Motherfucker gets vicious. ā€œWhat about them burned-up rings around your neck, motherfucker?ā€ And it hit me ’cause I had never thought of myself like that… ’cause I said. ā€œYeah, I’ve been burnt up.ā€ It never had hit me like it hit him. I said, ā€œYeah, I been burnt the fuck up.ā€ ā€˜Cause most people I meet. I act like I ain’t burned up… they do too. The motherfucker sneaks a peek. ā€œA nice tattoo you have… all over your body.ā€ I guess y’all say. ā€œFuck all that. How’d you burn up?ā€ You say. ā€œHow’d you burn up in your own house. Motherfucker?ā€ I know y’all heard all kind of stories about how I burned up basin’ this… and ether that. None of that shit got nothing to do with that. I’m gonna tell y’all the truth tonight. You got to promise not to tell nobody. – Can I trust ya? – Yeah! You’re some lyin’ motherfuckers. All my friends know this to be true ’cause everybody knows me. Usually before I go to bed. I have milk and cookies. And one night. I had some low-tat milk… and some pasteurized… and I mixed them together… and I dipped my cookie, and the shit blew up. I mean, the damnedest thing I’ve ever heard of in my life. Medical history was made. A lot of people say shit. I think about shit. Why do people think… All the people you ever heard of freebasin’… have you ever heard of anybody blowin’ up? Why me? Ten million motherfuckers freebase, I gotta blow up. I’m talking about… I started out smoking freebase. It was like… I started out one time. And I should’ve known something bad was going to happen… because I remember the first time I did freebase… I burnt my bed up. I was sitting on the bed, and somebody said… ā€œRichard, the bed’s on tire!ā€ I said. ā€œWhat? The bed’s on fire?ā€ It’s a weird disease. If any of you doin’ it… you ain’t gonna believe this, but if you’ve been doing it… longer than two weeks. You’re a junkie. Now I’m telling you so you’ll know it. I know you’ll tell yourself, ā€œI ain’t no fuckin’ junkie.ā€ You cannot stop if you wanted to. You’ll go home tonight and say. ā€œWatch me.ā€ You will not be able to. If you got the shit there, you will do it. I’m talking about, I started out smokin’… I would have a pipe and sit it down and walk eight feet away from it. Two days later. Jack. I would smoke. I’d go… One time. It looked like I had an appendage on my hand. It was the pipe. ā€˜Cause this pipe used to tell me when to go to bed. The pipe would say, ā€œTime to get up. Time for some smoke. Rich. We’re not doing anything today. Fuck all your appointments. Me and you are just gonna hang out in this room together.ā€ I’d get mad and frustrated. People didn’t understand me. The pipe’d say. ā€œCome in the room with me. I got you covered. I know how you feel. Rich. Light me up. Hold me tor a couple of days. And we’ll talk it over.ā€ I’m talking about a year later, jack. I’m talking about… I’m drawn up. fucked up and out of my mind… but I’m not hooked. People are trying to help me. I say… ā€œYou’re just meddling in my motherfucking business! You just think because I’m having a good… Leave me the fuck alone!ā€ And I’m smokin’ my shit… ’cause my pipe would say, ā€œI understand. They don’t know. It’s your life. They don’t have a right to fuck with you. Where were they when you needed them? Come in here with me. ’cause I love ya.ā€ And then the pipe starts saying shit like… ā€œYou let me get a little low yesterday. I don’t like that. Don’t let me get low again. Or I’m gonna hurt ya. You promise, keep me full at all times. Okay? Come on, Rich. You can do it. ā€˜Cause I understand.ā€ And finally. Dope dealers… I did it so bad, dope dealers tried not to sell me none. That’s doing it, for a dope dealer to say… ā€œI ain’t gonna give you no more. I can’t see you do it to yourself.ā€ Dope dealers don’t give a fuck about nothing usually. These motherfuckers refused to sell me cocaine. Said. ā€œNo. Motherfucker! You’re killing yourself!ā€ What? ā€œI don’t want to see you fuck yourself up.ā€ I ain’t never heard of dope dealers doin’ that. I mean. You could sooner get free food in a Chinese restaurant. But these motherfuckers love me. Man. They say. ā€œNo, man. Can’t you just snort again?ā€ And I’d lie and say, ā€œOkay. I’m gonna snort. Just give me enough tor the weekend. I’m gonna snort it.ā€ ā€œHow much you want?ā€ ā€œA kilo.ā€ I don’t know I’m a junkie. I weigh about 103. I looked like… Ain’t been out of my room in eight weeks. Funk is my shadow. Funk be just hanging all over me, talkin’ about… ā€œHey. Don’t wash.ā€ Then finally. My old lady called Jim Brown up. – She said. ā€œJim gonna come over.ā€ – ā€œFuck Jim Brown! I’ll show Jim Brown. I don’t give a fuck. Nobody afraid of Jim Brown here.ā€ Jim was coming in the driveway. I got all nervous. ā€œWho is it?ā€ ā€œJim Brown.ā€ ā€œOh. Shit! This motherfucker ain’t gonna scare me. Let me get my pipe.ā€ Pipe said. ā€œCome on. Me and you will show Jim. Don’t worry. Shit, Jim don’t scare nobody.ā€ Jim come in the room. I started smokin’. ā€œHow’re you doin’. Bro?ā€ Jim had psychology. Jim’d go… ā€œYou wanna go roller-skatin’?ā€ ā€œPipe.ā€ ā€œMaybe you wanna go tor a ride.ā€ Jim say. ā€œWhat you gonna do?ā€ ā€œWhat do you mean?ā€ ā€œWhat you gonna do about that shit?ā€ ā€œWhat? I’m doin’ what I wanna do.ā€ ā€œI ain’t afraid of you, you know. You ain’t no movie star to me. I ain’t scared of you. Motherfucker. I’m your friend. What you gonna do? You gonna get well, or you gonna end our friendship? What you gonna do?ā€ The pipe said. ā€œDon’t listen. He tryin’ to fuck with you, Rich.ā€ ā€œJim, I am a man.ā€ ā€œThere ain’t no doubt about that… but what you gonna do?ā€ And Jim kept saying that all through the hall. ā€œWhat you gonna do?ā€ ā€œLeave me the fuck alone! That’s what I’m going to do… I’m getting the fuck away from you… so I don’t have to hear ā€˜What you gonna do? ā€˜ ā€˜Cause I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do. Leave me the fuck alone!ā€ So Jim almost got me to the hospital… but he had to go somewhere. Like to home to eat. And I was in the room with the pipe. And the pipe said… ā€œHey. Rich… Jim’s gone.ā€ And it don’t matter how many times you break them motherfuckers… you go out and buy a new one. This is an addiction. It’s a monster. It’s pitiful. ā€˜Cause I ended up on the floor looking for shit. ā€œWell, let me smoke this.ā€ It’d be a piece of log. Anything. I’d say, ā€œI wonder how my sleeve would taste.ā€ I’ll tell you one thing. Man. When that tire hits your ass… that will sober your ass up quick. I mean. I was standing there on fire. And something said… ā€œWhy. That’s a pretty blue. You know what? That looks like fire!ā€ I’m talking about, tire is inspirational. They should use it in the Olympics… ’cause I did the 100-yard dash in 4.3