[Intro: Jack Curtis]
(crowd chatter)
Hello, ladies and gentlemen

The world-famous Latin Casino proudly presents the star of our show, Mr. Richard Pryor!

(crowd cheers)

[Opening: Richard Pryor]
We are... gathered here today on this soft occasion, to say goodbye to the dearly departed; he was dearly, and he has departed. Thus, that's why we call him the dearly departed. In other word, the n***a dead

As you can see him laying here, I've been here three days, the boy ain't moved a muscle. So, I know the n***a dead. And, it seemed the death was quite a surprise to his ass

(Turns to body) Didn't think you was ever gon' die, did you n***a? I told you 'bout fuckin' around, what was gonna happen

However, he faced the ultimated test, as each main and wo-main must eventually face the ultimate test. And the ultimate test is... Let me repeat that... the ultimate test is... whether or not you can survive death. That's the ultimate test for yo ass, ain't it?

So far, don't nobody we know have passed the ultimate test. Least of all, this n***a layin' here. 'Cause this boy wasn't shit, I'm'on' tell you that right on. I saw him kickin' his momma's ass over there on 47th street

(Turns to body) And if you think we gon' bury you with them diamonds and shit on, you got another thing comin'

I'd like to introduce the boy's woman... ho, bitch, I don't know what she was. She's layin' over there in the booth... Wha-

(To woman) Say, girl! Whatchoo doin'? Well, don't sell no pussy in here! If you do, I want a cut!

Shit. It's yo fault the n***a dead!

If you'da been home when you was supposed to be, he wouldn't have been in the hotel fuckin' that faggot. Boy's husband came home, caught him fuckin' - shot the n***a in the ass on the downstroke

And if there is a God, or a heaven, we don't want this n***a up there with us. Can I get a amen?

[Crowd:]
Amen! (Cheers)