[Scroda:]
GWAR, I bring forth the Portal Potty
Coming to feed on the shit from your bodies
Your turds have more power than mere human feces
Let's use its great power to recover the pieces

[Portal Potty:]
Hey! Hey, jackass! Yeah, you!
You got to love me so good, baby!
Yeah, yeah you can depend on me
Depending on if my water's on
If my pipe's unglogged
Ahhh if you're water-logged
Baby, I am the hole
I am your toilet bowl
I'll suck your soul, baby
Just pay...just pay my shitty toll!
Ahhhh...

[Scroda:]
Coated in shit, it gives all you desire
Mystical doorway, swirling in mire
We'll use the plunger if blockage won't budge
It's a door through the Plane of Fudge

[Oderus:]
So many times I have found you
Still I always piss on the ground
Now I know that I can use you
I'm gonna stop fuckin' around
If you need shit, baby, I got shit
On that, you can depend
I'll pump your stump, you fucking hump
My crappy, crap-caked friend
[All:]
The Portal Potty, a gift from the gods
Let us pay it tribute and bury our wads

[Beefcake:]
I think we know what it's all about
Jiggle the handle, watch something jump out

[Slymenstra:]
I am a woman and I have my needs
You can never really know just when I'll start to bleed
You need my egg, I need your seed
But pray at the altar

[Oderus:]
The toilet must feed!

[Toilet:]
Yeah, I'll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree
Just keep that fucking tampon away from me, baby

[Slymenstra:]
Take in this world, it's so beautiful
Filthy humans, you're all so full of it
That which you can't stand, you can't understand
Speak the mystic words
And bring forth a turd
You turn around into it
And turn over to me
[Solo]

[Oderus:]
Cross the river, leave the abyss
Give the seat of the toilet a kiss

[Beefcake:]
Each virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words
Well, Jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd

[Toilet:]
Yeah! Here it comes, baby
I'm dropping my load
I ain't just on it, I am the commode!
Ahhh!

[Scroda:]
The power of the toilet must never be abused
He must be plunged, he must be sponged, or carnage could ensue
If a dead sheep was to clog him, who knows what could arrive
Maybe it'll bring the Master, wouldn't that be a surprise?