Still there?

Still there

I re-count the black days
Recollect some circumstances
Even though it takes my sleep
I recall the black days
The mismatches and the end of some affairs
I recall the black days
Between zenith and nadir
Is there a pattern anywhere?
I recall the black days
The blackest one it's not the last one but it's there

And somewhere down there
I'm smiling
Still smiling
I'm smiling
From the bottom of my shapeless soul
I'm smiling
Anyway

I recount the black days
Wade through all the shadows
Even so it takes my sleep
I recall the black days
The cuts and the recovery
From unnecessary growth
I recall these black days
As maybe grim and melanized
But also colourful