"It's time to abort your whole friggin' species!"
Now entering World 10. Welcome to Nightmare Zone
There's a long dark road ahead of you
You have 1 continue. Godspeed!

Alright now, that's enough
Y'know, it's all coming back to me now
I remember... once long ago, I had this game in my possession
I just remember seeing this blank cartridge for a pale, emotionless game, with the dullest graphics. The most awful gameplay
I spent 8 years trying to figure it out, and another 7 trying to keep it locked in my closet, because...
I realized what was living inside that game... was simply evil

All your base are belong to Nmesh

Boogety! Boogety! Boo!
When all 7 guests have gathered, you must figure out what I want!
It's a puzzle Mrs. Knox, and mind you, the others are also working at the same task. It may all depend on who has the greatest need, or who is the bravest. There are clues throughout this house as to what must be done. The house is rife with clues. Hoping to meet you... In the flesh! I remain your host, Henry Stauf

Please baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!
(Please baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!)

Stop fooling around, man!

What a horrible night to have a curse

Yeah, fuck you
[?]
My, isn't this a cheery place
Edward, I'm not sure we should've been here today...
Why, because it's a spooky old house?
Don't worry dear, I'll watch out for you

I expected more of Mr. Stauf!
And lord, it smells awful too
What's Stauf been doing here?

Please baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!

Morning, honey!
Good morning, sweetheart
How 'bout some coffee?
Yeah. Big one. Somebody kept me up last night
Well, I'm sorry I had a nightmare...
You didn't seem to mind so much last night
Yeah, I know...
It's probably just spending the night in the new house, that's all
Yeah, I know. I have to admit this place is kind of strange
Yeah, it's different. You know, I bet the guy that built this place must've been really bizarre
Oh hi, Spaz! How you doing, huh? [?]
What are you gonna do today, sweetheart?
I dunno, I'm almost finished unpacking... Thought maybe I'd do a little exploring. How 'bout you?
You see that bathroom yet on the second floor?
Yeah
I like that. I think I'm gonna turn it into a photo lab for myself
Keep me busy for a week or so
That's a good idea
What's in that box?
Well I don't know, I haven't got through it yet
Let's see...
Oh, it's Christmas ornaments
Oh, look at this!
What?
Just a sec
You remember this?
Yeah. Yeah, I gave you this for Halloween
You rat! You know it was Christmas Eve. It's the night you proposed to me
Are you sure I've proposed with you?
Yes...
'Course I remember. Of course I do
You're forgiven
I better get to work, I've got lots to do. I'm gonna keep this little fella with me, though, so I'll always remember that fateful night
Well, don't wait too hard. See you later
Now kids, don't try this at home... He, he, he, he, he, he...

Hush-a-bye, don't you cry
Go to sleep you little baby
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry
Go to sleep you little baby

Blacks and bays, dapples and greys
All the pretty little horses
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry
Go to sleep you little baby
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry
Go to sleep you little baby

You're listening to Warp Zone

Tina!
I hate you, I wish you were dead!
John!
I wish you were dead!
No, Daddy. No!
I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm so sorry. I wish I could bring you back

Things are about to get ugly. You may want to turn back

This looks extraordinarily bad...
I'm in here! In here, in the bedroom
What are you doing?
Well I'm... You know, I'm starting my new book
So what? Did you go buy the drain cleaner like I asked you to?
What? Drain cleaner?
Don't be coy with me. I asked you several times to go buy me drain cleaner, now did you do it?
I know you said the [?] was clogging your [?], but you've never asked me to go get you any drain cleaner, I would've remembered something like that
You know, this is just like you. I bust my ass for you all the time, and you don't do anything but sit on your butt like you're doing right now!
What? What is wrong with you? I don't understand
Fine. The next time you want something, don't come crawling to me
Fine! I'll go to the store and get your goddamn drain cleaner!

I'll go to the store and get your goddamn drain cleaner!
(Goddamn drain cleaner!)
I'll go to the store and get your goddamn drain cleaner!
(Goddamn drain cleaner!)

Teflon Beast has turned into a robot, and avoided detection
You gain 1 continue

Jill, here's a lockpick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you
Thanks, maybe I'll need it!

You made it this far. Too bad it's all going to crash down!
All your base are belong to Nmesh

A secret room. This is the puzzle that [?] and I solved it!

I just wanna wake up! (Wanna wake up, wanna wake up, wanna wake up...)
I just wanna wake up! (Wanna wake up, wanna wake up, wanna wake up...)

You're listening to Warp Zone, on Tiny Mix Tapes
Nmesh...

Now, this is a force to be reckoned with!

[?]

Dream Baby has been destroyed by Shub-Niggurath. (AHHHH!)
Again, you have only 1 continue left
Good luck. Mr. P is counting on you
"Get us across!"

Nmesh...

You have reached the lair of the enemy, who has revealed himself to be The IRATE Gamer, leader of the ninja goons who have kidnapped Tiny Mix Tapes
"Hi guys, IRATE Gamer here..." (*Fart*)
You must prevent his wave of terror, and rescue Mr. P, in order to restore the balance to our world
Good luck!
(*Fart*) "Oh, come on, are you kidding me?"
[?]

This is K-T-I-T. KTIT. Playing the breast... Uh... The best tunes in town!

[?]!

Holy shit!
Die, you son of a bitch! (Ahhh!)
Fuck! I hate this game!
[?]

Mr. P thanks you for rescuing him from ninjas
Now, shall we all go out for burgers? Ha ha ha ha!

You've just made it through a 4 hour DJ mix
That's FOUR. FUCKING. HOURS
Game developed by Nmesh
Please send all hate mail to the following address:
Elastic dot ocean at Gmail dot com

To be continued...
"And I can't deny the fact that you like me! Right now! You like me!"
"Oh, I want it, I want it-want it, want it! Want..."

And now folks, for an old familiar favourite
We've had many requests for this
It's a simple little sentimental song
And I certainly hope all you sentimental folks out there are going to enjoy it
(Nmesh...)

That's... the best Game Over screen I ever saw
For real, I'm actually being dead serious
Dead fucking serious
That's brilliant, right?
"YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD. GAME OVER"
It's priceless
Like, I can't believe it
Isn't it a neat thing to say to kids?
Nobody ever dies in Nintendo, they're either "defeated" or they turn into an item and like, float away
But here comes a game that just cuts the bullshit, shows some balls, comes flat out and says "YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, AND YOUR FRIENDS TOO". Beautiful

Alex Koenig...
(Nmesh...)

"Dat dat-dat dat's all, folks!"
You're listening to the sound
Of Nmesh
"Game Over!"