{*phone ringing*}
[Female] Hello
[Spitball] Ay yo, put Simon on the line
[Simon Sez] Hello, who's this?
[Spitball] This Spitball, what's going down tonight?
[Simon Sez] Same as every other night
We're gonna find some freaks and swerve

[Verse 1: Simon Sez]
I always got ten or twenty beauty girls within my reach
I'm the chief lifeguard at your local n*** beach
Wham bam on the sand, make you scream for more
I pull freaks like the Taj, pull bodies from the shore
Close the door
I'm here to up the ante
My mouth starts to water when eatable pannies
Get pushed in my face, I gotta take a taste
I do all my thinking below my waist
Chase
Virgin girls
Bad mama-jamas
I move fast like a Suzuki Kadana
Tie you up with your bandana
I like juicy cherries, you like big bananas
We're a match made in heaven, girl
You know I'm bigger than a Boeing Triple 7, so
Let's get naked, leave your high heels on
I get my groove on your futon, then move on

Chorus:
[Simon Sez] Let's swerve
[Earthquake Institute] Swerve
[Simon Sez] Come on girl, let's rock it
Swerve
[Earthquake Institute] Swerve
[Female] You know I'm down, let's rock it

Repeat Chorus

[Verse 2: Spitball]
I'm not Grandmaster, but I Flash 'em hoes
By the window
Yellin', "There's a party over here"
Brush my teeth, gargle with beer
Wipe the kicks
Press my shirt, then it's time to swerve
And serve words in my nerves
So when I speak
Nerds convert to pervs
Overnight
This rapper loves to bite
Soft skinned women with bigger thighs
Than Earl Campbell
Don't change the dirty channel
Leavin' bedroom scents in shambles, when I mack
It's a gamble
Put ya money on this thug
Hey strippers
We can wrestle in the mud
On the first night
Do the rough lambada
My name's Spitball, not Erik Estrada
Can you dig?
We live for the gigs
And lickin' Asian chicks and Afro wigs

Repeat Chorus Twice: Spitball

(Verse 3)
[Simon Sez]
Here to stay, boys, thrills and Cirque Du Soleil
I watch X-rated Japanese anime
First prize at the Miss Teen USA
A date with Simon Sez, dinner and dancin'
Romancing, girl
I'll get you out your baby doll
With loud cat calls and lots of alcohol
I got it all
Crawl into my sheets
I'll rock you to sleep with my Latin beat
Keep
An extra girl on standby
She keeps her one way wide opened
So I can land my
Jumbo jet
Where it's hot and wet
I had hot sex with girls I barely met

[Spitball]
I'm the homie that can swerve, smack, dab ya to a wall
Get up
Then walk through a bar room brawl
And never fall
So follow my lead
And drink what I drink, I think I got what you need
For the night
We'll swerve left and right
Right into a Motel Six where my girlfriend's
Waitin'
With toys for the session
I give up a kiss, then undress

Repeat Chorus Twice: The Earthquake Institute

{*scratching various samples*}