[Intro]
A 4 year old boy, a baby, whose mother sought advice from an antivaccine Facebook page on how to treat flu symptoms, that boy has died. The mother reached out to members of an anti-vaxxer Facebook group, saying that her son was prescribed Tamiflu, the most common antiviral medication, but didn't fill the prescription. She complained that natural remedies were not working and she asked for advice. The advice that came in the comment section included breast milk, thymе, and elderberry, nonе of which are medically recommended treatments for the flu...

[Chorus 1: Dan]
My soy’s gone cold I’m wondering why I
Need a doc at all
My Google search pops up these windows
And I believe it all
And even if I don’t it’ll be OK
Cuz I vape essential oils
They remind me, you’re a pharma shill
A pharma shill

[Verse 1: Dan]
Dear Z, I Facebook-messaged but you must’ve missed it
I sent some links to prove vaccines’ll turn your dog autistic
It’s peer reviewed, Natural News is hella journalistic
Their editor is gluten-free, a vegan psychic mystic
Sometimes I wonder if you might know more than Gwyneth Paltrow
But anyways, fuck it, you’re a shill and she’s on Netflix bro
My girlfriend’s pregnant too, don’t think I’ll vax her tho
Those toxins block the natural weed I make her smoke
Here’s some links
I read about this heroin addict that was vaccinated
They said it’s the aluminum in ‘em that exacerbates it
I know you probably hear this everyday but you’re the biggest sham
I read your Turntable Health clinic was just some pharma scam
I’ve got a room full of these articles, did my research man
I like to send em to you, cuz Dogg you know your shit is wack
Anyways, I hope you get this Z, hit me back
Facebook chat, you pharma whore, love your jams!
This is Dan
[Chorus 2: Dan]
My Chi won’t flow I’m wondering why I
Need a doc at all
My Google search pops up these windows
And I believe it all
And even if I don’t it’ll be OK
Cuz I take these fake hormones
They remind me, you’re a pharma shill
A pharma shill

[Verse 2: Dan]
Dear Dogg, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope I wasn’t blocked
I ain’t mad, I just think it’s fucked up you think I’m a Russian bot
If you didn’t wanna talk to me outside Taco Bell
You didn’t have to, but you coulda signed a vaccine exemption for Matthew
That’s my service weasel man, he’s my closest bro
We waited outside the drive thru for you
With a cheese burrito and you just said “No.”
That’s pretty shitty man, we packed it full of measles
Natural exposure, cuz little Matthew’s scared of needles
Aw he’s foamin’ at the mouth now, I probably just need to feed him
Remember when we met on Twitter?
You said if I tweet you, you would tweet back
See I’m just like you in a way
I don’t connect with doctors neither
I got chronic lyme but still got no believers
I can relate to what you’re saying in your songs
So when I have a shitty day, I Google cures and grab a bong
Cuz I don’t really got shit else but that shit helps when I’m fatigued
Even got a script from a homeopath for kombucha weed
Sometimes I feel better when I meet more folks like me
I joined a Facebook group called Health Nut News and they hate MD’s
But every time I watch your vids, it’s real the way you tell it
Health 3.0’s so legit next to the bullshit that they sellin’
See they don’t know you like I know you Z, no one does
I just wish the system would get better but it NEVER does
You gotta reply man
I’ll listen too
Natural News is pretty dumb
Dan
P.S. That weasel bit my hand
[Chorus 3: Dan]
My arm’s gone numb I’m wondering why I
Need a doc at all
My Google search pops up these windows
And I believe it all
And even if I don’t it’ll be OK
Cuz I bought these supplements
They remind me, that Big Pharma’s bad
Big Pharma’s bad

[Verse 3: Dan]
Dear Mister, “Internet celebrity, I’m a pharma shill for cash”
This will be the last message I ever send your ass
It’s been 6 hours and still no word, you don’t respond quick?
I sent 40 DMs and still get this autoresponse shit
So this is my last Twitter message I hope you get it
I’m in the car right now, on my way to a tetanus party
Hey Z, I put a jade egg up my butt dare me to drive
You know those moms who feed bleach to their kids just cuz it might
Cure their autism cuz they saw it on some site
All the while desperate cuz no doctor would help ‘em right
That’s kinda how this is, you could have rescued me from woo woo
Now it’s too late, I’m on a pound of CBD now, I’m cuckoo
And all I wanted was a stupid message or a call
Just to let me know that my pain is real, I’m not some kinda fraud
I needed you ZDogg, celebrities ain’t docs, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and you seethe about it
And when you live stream antivaccine freaks scream about it
Hope your kids get vaccine injured and you dream about me
See Z, shut up Matthew! I’m talkin’ to Siri!
Hey Z, that my service weasel screamin’ in the trunk
He got autistic from vaccines, so I gave him a mercury enema
But he’s been acting nuts and hasn’t pood so I’ma blame you
Well, gotta go, Mercola’s posting now
Oh shit, my phone froze, how am I supposed to tweet this shit out?
[Chorus 1: Dan]
My soy’s gone cold I’m wondering why I
Need a doc at all
My Google search pops up these windows
And I believe it all
And even if I don’t it’ll be OK
Cuz I vape essential oils
They remind me, you’re a pharma shill
A pharma shill

[Verse 4: ZDoggMD]
Dear Dan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been slammed
Nothing I type will change your mind about vaccines man
Look, I wish I had the time that you deserve
This system sucks, ain’t paid to talk
We’re paid to do procedures
I’m sorry your girl won’t get her shots, don’t get confused
Trust her OB doc, not all that weed and Natural News
And what’s this bit you said about burritos full of measles?
That’s a serious disease, and I’m uneasy about that weasel
You got real issues Dan, chronic lyme notwithstanding
I think you’ve had some trauma and wanna doc that’s understanding
It makes me sad when those celebrities spread advice that kills
But docs who do it out of love get branded "Pharma shills"
I’m really hurt about the stuff you heard about my clinic
We worked hard to do care right but of course insurance killed it
I think we could’ve helped calm the fears that you’re attached to
Before you hurt yourself, your girl, or your weasel Matthew
I know you’re mad, Dan, I’m sad you don’t feel heard
But I get mad when kids get hurt, cuz damn, these vaccines work
I just don’t want you to do some crazy shit
I saw this one bit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was on his phone and drove his car over a bridge
And had a rabid weasel in the trunk, with bunch of mercury in it
And on his phone they found a text, but they didn’t say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was, it was you
Dan…