[Verse 1]
No one wants to hear about your 97th tear
So dry your eyes or let it go uncried, my dear
I am all out of love to mouth into your ear
And not above letting a love song disappear
Before it's written

[Verse 2]
And no one wants a tune about the 100th luftballoon
That was seen shooting from the window of your room
To be a spot against the sky's colossal gloom
And land, deflated, in some neighbor state that's strewn
With 99 others

[Chorus 1]
8 Chinese brothers
Well, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide
And sitting higher than the others
Swinging his arms

[Verse 3]
You would probably die before you shot up 9 miles high
Your eyes dilated as light played upon the sight
Of TVC 16 as it sings you goodnight
Relaxed as hell and locked up in cell 45
Well, I hope you're feeling better
[Chorus 2]
The 51st way to leave your lover
Admittedly, it doesn't seem to be
As gentle or as clean as all the others
Leaving its scars
All in the after-hours of some Greenpoint bar

[Verse 4]
I told you I can't listen, baby, about the 4th time you were a lady
And how your forthrightness betrayed a secret shyness
Stripped away by days of being hailed as "Your Highness"
And what's new, pussycat, is you were once a lioness
They cut your claws out

[Verse 5]
Kitten, not everyone's keen on lighting candle 17
The party's done, the cake's all gone, the plates are clean
The chauffeur's leering from the cheerless mezzanine
And in just one year, the straight world can pay to see
What they have been missing

[Chorus 3]
But you were caught kissing 8 Chinese brothers
Weel, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide
And sitting higher than the others
Stinking with charm
[Outro]
And he says, "Let's get lost, let them send out alarms"
He says, "Let's get crossed out and come to harm"
"Let's make the world's stupidest stand and truly mean it
Let's hit the limit of loss over lover's arms
No, let's exceed it"