[Spoken]
Recently I've noticed that there's a lot of anger in the world on the internet
Which is understandable
There's a lot of things to be angry about in our world today
We've got things like wars, death, hate
But that's not why people are mad
They're mad because
I decorated for Christmas too early for their liking

[Intro]
People are really mad at me cause I put up my Christmas tree
Yes, it's November first, but I want Santa to come early
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but people seem to disagree
And by disagree, I mean they are really, really, really f***ing pissed at me

[Spoken]
Seriously, they're so mad
Let me show you

[Verse 1 & (Spoken)]
I recently posted a photo
Of my nutcracker king
"I hate you, you decorute do early"
"You are do annoying"
What do you think of my hairband?
It makes me look like an elf
"Disrespect for our soldiers and Thanksgiving"
"Go smack yourself"
I put up lots of twinkle lights
And if filled my heart with glee
"So, you plan to eat Thanksgiving"
"By your Christmas tree?" Yes, bitch
[Chorus]
It makes me happy to have Christmas lights and garland everywhere
I'm all smiles, so say what you want
'Cause I don't really care
It doesn't affect you at all if my house
Is covered in red and green
And, honestly, it's kind of dumb that it offends you
So you can go suck my ween

[Spoken]
Seriously, guys
This is a real problem we're having in the world today
People are pissed
But you know what?
I think that no matter what holiday you celebrate
You should be able to decorate whenever you want
And if that pisses people off
Well, they need to get a new hobby

[Verse 2 & (Spoken)]
I posted a photo of my Christmas wreath
I covered it in tinsel and tulle
"Are you insane? It's just November, so stop trying to be cool"
How do you like my Christmas scarf?
I made it with sparkly yarn
"What the hell? It's not even December yet"
"Go calm your farm", what?
I love walking around in public
In my cute little Santa hat
"What about the people that don't even celebrate Christmas?"
"Have you ever thought about that?", nope
[Chorus]
It makes me happy to have Christmas lights
And garland everywhere
I'm all smiles, so say what you want
Cause I don't really care
It doesn't affect you at all if my house
Is covered in red and green
And, honestly, it's kind of dumb that it offends you
So you can go suck my ween

[Outro]
Go suck my ween
If you don't like my Christmas tree
Go suck my ween
If you think I decorate too early
Go suck my ween
If you don't like my Christmas glee
Go suck my ween
Cause Christmas makes me happy