[Chorus]
All aboard
The toxic gossip train
Chugging down the tracks of butt hair removal
Toxic gossip train
You got a one-way ticket to a hairless butt hole
Toxic gossip train
Tie me to the tracks and harass me for my crack
Clenches look like winks if you take time to think
I'm just a skinny twink, but hey
At least my hairs are gone

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus]
Toxic gossip train
Locomotive's fueled with funny reactions
Toxic gossip train
Steamroll over someone's funky actions
Toxic gossip train
Hop on board, but close your eyes, otherwise you'll realize
Butt cheeks being spread can be a cause of death
That's what they all have said, but hеy
At least my hairs are gone
At lеast my hairs are gone
[Verse 1]
Sometimes people educate and teach others how to douche and shave so great
Sometimes people know a few tips and they share them online for other peeps because
Sometimes people hurt themselves when they do certain things without any help
I wish I had someone like me when I was first trying out bottoming

[Verse 2]
Because I've hurt myself
From douching improperly and
Cutting my butt and
Not knowing how to prepare and
Getting chlamydia and
Not knowing how to shave and
Bleeding out of my butt and
Not knowing how to use creams and
Getting chemical razor burns and
I just want you and everyone watching to be able to do these things safely

[Outro]
So, yeah, I am a groomer but like, only for like, my butt hair bloomers