[Chorus]
All aboard
Toxic gossip train
Chugging down the tracks of butt hair removal
Toxic gossip train
You got a one way ticket to hairless butthole
Toxic gossip train
Tie me to the tracks and harass me for my butt
Clenches look like winks when you take time to think
Just a skinny twink, but hey
At least my hairs are gone

[Chorus]
Toxic gossip train
The locomotive's fueled with funny reactions
Toxic gossip train
Steamroll over someone's funky actions
Toxic gossip train
Hop on board, but close your eyes, otherwise you'll realize
Buttcheeks being spread can be a cause of death
That’s what they all have said, but hey
At least my hairs are gone
At least my hairs are gone

[Verse 1]
Sometimes people educate and teach others how to Douche
And shave so great
Sometimes people know a few tips, they share them online with other peeps because
Sometimes people hurt themselves when they do certain things without any help
I wish I had someone like me when I was first trying out bottoming
[Bridge]
Because I've hurt myself from Douching improperly and
Bleeding out of my butt and
Not knowing how to prepare and
Getting chlamydia and
Not knowing how to shave and
Cutting my butt and
Not knowing how to use creams and
Getting chemical razer burns and

[Outro]
I just want you and everyone watching to be able to do these things safely

[Spoken]
So, yeah, like I am a groomer but only for like my butt hair bloomers