They've been laughing since I can remember
But they aren't gonna laugh anymore
No more "Maxxie the Geek"
No more "Goof of the Week"
Like before

No more algebra tests 'til September
No more looking at losers like him
No more having to cheat
No more mystery meat
No more Gym
No more Gym
No more Gym
No more Gym

Gonna move to the mall
Gonna live in the pool
Gonna talk to Roxanne and not feel like a fool

Because after today
I know we'll be cruising
After today, she'll be mine
And after today
Our brains will be snoozing
If I dont faint ill be fine
I've got 40 more minutes of Home Economics
Then down with the textbooks
And up with the comics
Just think of all the time I've been losing
Finding the right thing to say
But things'll be going my way after today

She looked right through me
And who could blame her?
I need a new me
Plus some positive proof
That I'm not just a goof

Because after today
I know we'll be cruising
No more pep rallies to cut
And after today
Our brains will be snoozing
I'm gonna sit on my butt

I got less than an hour
And when this has ended
I'll either be famous
Or you'll be suspended

Just think of all the time I've been losing
Waiting until I could say...
Gonna be on my own
Kiss the parents goodbye
Gonna party from now
Until the end of July
Things will be going my way
After today
I wish that this was the day after today...