I drew a lemon
I thought we'd last forever
But you drew the curtains
And pulled yourself together
Me I was certain
We'd wed and save our pennies
You went for a burton
Said "sod the consequences"

A couple of friends called by
And asked me to go out
Well maybe on Friday night
I'll iron a shirt
Choose a tie
And drink until that well is dry
But

I drew a lemon
Those girls just laughed and wafted by
I sat there waiting
Waiting for snow in mid-July
They threw a party
But all three guests were boring
I turned on the TV
To drown the sound of snoring
A couple of cops drop by
'cos Mr Singh complained
The level of my Hi-Fi
Is driving him to drink, I think
I'll turn it down 'til you turn up again

A couple of years roll by
And me I'm doing fine
I work for the FBI
They promised me a Christmas bonus
Just think
One day this will all be mine

But I drew a lemon
I punched that gift horse in the mouth
I won't get to heaven
If heaven's North then I'll choose South

A couple of friends crawl by
And beg me to go out
Well maybe the time is right
To iron that shirt
Choose a tie
Watch you and your friends
Go sailing by