I've got a box full of matches but the fires won't burn
A cartload of monkeys, the wheels won't turn
A head full of nothing, I never seem to learn anything anymore
I've got a bag full of promises I can't keep
A hundred reasons why I don't sleep
A lot of friends that I don't see
Maybe that's what friends are for

And you can do anything that you want to me
Cut off my legs and call me shorty
Love me although I'm fat and almost thirty-three
What's wrong with me?

I've got a pocket full of secrets that I can't hide
A mind and a mouth that's open wide
Nobody ever looks inside
They just see what they want to see
You've got the gift of the gab, you're fab and full of wit
A beautiful face that always fits
So give me a break and say a big hello to me

And I will give you the life I know you're used to
Give me the choice I know you'd choose and
What you get is all of me
Saying "Howdy Doo, what's wrong with you?"
Hey, and with the help of God and a few marines
I'll get there someday
Hey, by the way I hope you're OK
All I want to do
Is make your dreams come true

I want to be the King of every country
Kiss a different girl each month, but
When your head rules your heart
You never start to understand the score

And you can do anything that you want to me
Cut off my legs and call me shorty
Love me although I'm fat and almost thirty-three
What's wrong with me?