[Verse 1: Phil]
My name’s Phil Lester thankfully not Mo
It’s finally time to make my diss track yo
You thought I was too innocent to roast myself?
Well watch out bitch
This might be bad for your health

A Youtube dinosaur
His channel older than your mum
He’s so insanely clumsy
Always falling on his bum
Some people think he’s weird
Cause he doesn’t like cheeses
He’s so frickin' pale
You’d think the sun gave him diseases

His name’s AmazingPhil
Why’s he so great?
For ten years he had hair
From 2008
All that time
Hiding behind a fringe
And on top of all that
He’s secretly a ginge

You quiffed it up
What is this a rebrand?
If you didn’t dye it black
You’d be totally bland
And innocent whatever
Wait till you're in private
Your mouth’s so dirty
You sound like a pirate

Hey you say you’re an angel
You know that’s a lie
You just don’t want to get
Demonetised
Your vids are so sweet
You can’t even say crap
I bet you’d even censor
A swear in this rap

You look like a badly photoshopped
Benedict Cumberbatch
And I realize nothing rhymes with
Cumberbatch
So I guess this verse doesn’t rhyme

I’d better get going
And end the bants
I murdered this beat
Like I murder houseplants
If you can’t keep a cactus
Why’d you want a dog?
I’d give it three weeks
Until the funeral vlog

Don’t get me started on that guy called Dan
The only reason I’m here is people ship phan
More followers than me
I’m living in his shadow
Next thing you’ll know
He’ll be playing the piano

[Verse 2: Dan]
Once upon a time
There was a boy named Dan
With brown emo hair
And a weird brown tan

He spent all his time
On the internet alone
But on Youtube
He found a place to call home
A magical world of skateboarding cats
Of vloggers filmmakers and
Some big headed twats

But Dan enjoyed this world
All alone until
He met a black haired emo called
"AmazingPhil"
This Phil guy he was weird
But also pretty rad
He talked about his life
And he wore a lot of plaid

Dan wanted to join in
But couldn’t make his clips
So he asked
Hey buddy can I have
Some editing tips

[Verse 3: Phil]
Shut up Dan this piano is whack
People like the rap so Philly is back
And you better hurry up
With the story in this track
We’ve been friends for ten years
We all know the tale
If you didn’t know me
You’d be sat in jail
Oh no you're looking at me like this is betrayal
I guess it's time to bail


The future’s unclear
And I know this is true
You’re as important to us
Than as we are to you
We didn’t know we’d make it this far
But now we’re on a stage
And here we are

[Chorus: Dan and Phil]
Cause we’re interactive introverts
Interactive introverts
We don’t care if it hurts or not
We just want to give the people
What they want
Because we’re interactive introverts

[Phil]
You know what is funny we’ve been friends
For so long and we have never fallen out

[Dan and Phil]
Ooh there is plenty of material
Your houseplants have died

(You don’t go outside)

Your vision is blurry

(You are a furry)

[Dan]
Okay we’re starting to fight
That means that this is too long

[Phil]
I guess we might not make it
To the end of this song

[Chorus: Dan and Phil]
Cause we’re Interactive Introverts
Interactive Introverts
Thanks for watching and for all of the memes
It’s been terrible for our self-esteem
Because we’re Interactive Introverts

[Outro: Dan and Phil]
Interactive introverts
We don’t care if it hurts or not
We just want to give the people what they want