[Phoenix Wright]
Heroes Assemble!

[1] [Toad]
Yeah, we'll show those bad guys!

[Phoenix Wright]
No! Objection! Listen!

I'm a lawyer and I never lose a case
And I fix my hair with glue

[Miles Edgeworth]
But what you don't tell all your clients
Justice is a science
I don't think the courtroom has a clue

[Phoenix Wright]
But maybe they do?

[Captain Falcon]
They don't!

[Phoenix Wright]
Aww...

[Tails]
Hey wait, come on! You're going way too fast!

[Sonic]
Tough break, butthole. You gotta go way faster!

I go really fast, I never take it slow
I can break the speed of sound

[Tails]
I'm his buddy but I can't keep up at all
Out of breath and there's a countdown
Oh man!
Oh god oh god, my asthma!

[Tails]
Hey man, do you ever think maybe we're the bad guys?

[Captain Falcon]
Falcon-shut the hell up!

I am also fast, but I drive in a car
It's a nicer car than yours

[3] [?]
But god forbid you should defeat him
He'll try to start a fight
He'll beat you up
Pull down your drawers, ooh

[Link]
Gotta run around my town and try to find some cash
My neighbors save me all the work

[Ganondorf]
You just break into people's houses
It's time to face the fact that you're a jerk

[All]
All these wretches and liberties
Douse them all in gasoline
Though they say they're here to help
Mostly they're out to help themselves

We're sick of hearing it
Your heroes are degenerates
There's not a good one in the bunch

We rob and murder every day
We're on a hunt for prey to slay
Join us now and chase the heroes away

[Big Boss] [?]
Well, what about anti-heroes?

Revolver Ocelot
Well shucks, I'm anti heroes.

[Big Boss] [?]
No, I meant-- uhh, never mind.

[Revolver Ocelot]
I'm a bad guy but I saved a bunch of kids
Got a conscience and a heart

[Kazuhira Miller]
Boss, your body count's a thousand
They're stacked up like a mountain
You serve up executions á la carte

[Big Boss]
Well, yeah.

[Mario]
It's-a me
I like to kill-a wildlife
Stomp a mushroom with-a the shoe
I take the big-a vegetable
And feed it to a frog
What will it do?
He died!
Wahoo!

[All]
Unconditionally thrilling
Indiscriminately killing
Golly gee, you're just a villain
Just like me, another villain

[Mega Man]
I'm like the god of death
And I cook crystal meth

[Dr. Wily]
What did my robots ever do?

[Mega Man]
They just looked at me wrong, ha ha

[All]
Innocent blood is on your hands
Have half a mind to tell your friends

[5] [?]
Honestly it feels amazing
All the planets that I'm razing

[All]
Gotta say it feels amazing

[Mario]
Sh-sh-sh-sh! A-no tears-a, my friend.
Only dreams.

[All]
I am so bad