Dave Malloy
The Duel
[ANATOLE]
Good evening, Pierre
Studying?

[PIERRE]
Yes
How was the opera?

[ANATOLE]
Lovely
Natalya Rostova was there

[PIERRE]
Oh?
Dear Andrey's betrothed?
I have known her family for years and long carried affection
For her

[ANATOLE]
Yes
Charming
Look, Dolokhov's coming around
And we're off to the club
Will you come, old man?

[PIERRE]
I will come
[ANATOLE]
Lend me fifty rubles?

[DOLOKHOV]
Drink, drink
Gonna drink tonight
Gonna drink tonight
Gonna drink, gonna drink
Gonna drink tonight
Gonna drink tonight
Gonna drink tonight
Gonna

[DOLOKHOV, ANATOLE & PIERRE]
Drink, drink
Gonna drink tonight
Gonna drink tonight
Gonna, gonna drink, gonna drink tonight
Gonna drink tonight
Gonna drink tonight


[ALL]
Drink with me, my love
For there's fire in the sky
And there's ice on the ground
Either way, my soul will die
Whoa...

[PIERRE]
The doctors warned me
That with my corpulence

[ALL]
Corpulence!

[PIERRE]
Vodka and wine are dangerous for me
But I drink a great deal
Only quite at ease
After pouring several glasses mechanically
Into my large mouth

[PIERRE & ALL]
Then I feel
A pleasant warmth in my body
A sentimental attachment to my fellow man

[HÉLÈNE]
Keep drinking old man

[ANATOLE & DOLOKHOV]
Keep drinking old man
Drink the whole night through
Keep drinking old man
[ALL]
Keep drinking old man
Drink the whole night through
Keep drinking old man

[ANATOLE]
Natasha, Natasha
Her arms, her shoulders, her neck, her feet

[HÉLÈNE]
The air of a connoisseur

[ANATOLE]
I will make love to her

[DOLOKHOV]
Better not, monsieur
She's first rate, but nothing but trouble

[DOLOKHOV & HÉLÈNE]
Better wait till she's married

[DOLOKHOV]
Anatole is a married man
A fact known only to his intimates
A Polish landowner of some small means
Had forced him to marry his daughter

[ANATOLE]
Nevermind about that now
It doesn't matter
I don't give a damn
Just as a duck is made to swim in water
God has made me as I am
All I care for is gaiety and women
And there's no dishonor in that
As long as there's money and vodka
I'll keep a feather in my hat

[ALL]
Whoa...

[PIERRE]
I used to love
I used to love
I used to be better

[ALL]
Keep drinking old man

[HÉLÈNE]
Drink, drink, drink
God to think I married a man like you

[PIERRE]
Don't speak to me, wife
There is something inside me...

[HÉLÈNE]
Dolokhov, pour me another

[PIERRE]
Something terrible and monstrous

[DOLOKHOV]
Here's to the health of married women
And a smile lurks at the corner of my mouth
Here's to the health of married women
And their lovers!

[DOLOKHOV & ALL]
Here's to the health of married women
Here's to the health of married women
And their lovers!

Here's to the health of married women
Here's to the health of married women
And their lovers!

[PIERRE]
How dare you touch her?

[DOLOKHOV]
You can't love her

[PIERRE]
Enough!
You bully, you scoundrel
I challenge you

[DOLOKHOV]
Oh, a duel?
Yes, this is what I like

[HÉLÈNE]
He will kill you, stupid husband

[PIERRE]
So I shall be killed
What is it to you?
Anatole, my guns

[ANATOLE]
Oh, this is horribly stupid

[DOLOKHOV]
Well, let's begin
This is child's play

[SERVANT/DENISOV]
As the adversaries have refused a reconciliation
We shall please proceed with the duel
Ready your pistols
And on the count of tri
Begin to advance

[ALL]
Rahz! Dva! Tri!

[ANATOLE]
Pierre, hold your fire
Pierre, hold your fire
Pierre, not yet!

(PIERRE shoots DOLOKHOV)

[DOLOKHOV]
No!
Shot by a fool!

[PIERRE]
No, wait, I didn't mean –

[DOLOKHOV]
Quiet, old man!
My turn

[PIERRE]
My turn...

[ANATOLE]
Pierre, stand back!

(HÉLÈNE screams)

[DOLOKHOV]
Missed, missed
Oh my mother, my angel
My adoréd angel mother

[HÉLÈNE]
Take him away

[SERVANT/DENISOV]
The sun is rising
The duel is at an end
And Pierre Bezukhov is the winner

[PIERRE]
Winner

[HÉLÈNE]
You are a fool

[ANATOLE]
Well, sweet sister
You certainly bring out the beast in men

[HÉLÈNE]
What can I say?
It's a gift

[ANATOLE]
How I adore you
Will you ask Natasha to the ball tonight?

[HÉLÈNE]
Of course, dear brother

[ANATOLE]
Come on, old man
Let's get you home

[PIERRE]
In a moment

[ANATOLE]
Sleep it off
And be happy
We live to love another day