CONTESTANTS:
IF THIS IS THE WORLD YOU’RE GIVING ME
IF THIS IS THE BEST YOU COULD DO

I ACCEPT YOUR GIFT GRACIOUSLY
AS LONG THE SKIES ARE STILL BLUE

AND I WILL BEGIN THE RITES
OF ABSOLUTION AND PURIFICATION
IN THE MORNING
WHEN I’M READY

THE PRIZE

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT THE PRIZE

THE PRIZE
IS THE ONE THING
THAT YOU WANT MOST OF ALL

THE PRIZE
IS THE ONE THING
THAT WOULD GET US TO SOMETHING SO LAME
AS A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE

SAMSON:
IT’S MONEY
GRACE:
IT’S LOVE

SAMSON:
IT’S FAME

ROGER:
IT’S A PERFECT SAT SCORE

TYE, CYRUS:
IT’S FULL FINANCIAL AID

ROGER:
OR AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOLARSHIP

MO:
AND IT’S A VENTURE CAPITALIST INVESTMENT
ON MY FIRST STARTUP
AND MY FIRST APP

JANELLE:
IT’S MY OWN YOUTUBE CHANNEL

JANELLE, HARPER, MO, SAMSON:
WITH 5 MILLION FOLLOWERS
ALL:
WITH 5 BILLION FOLLOWERS

ROGER:
IT’S MY BIG BREAK

HARPER, GRACE:
IT’S I MAKE PERFECT ART
AND EVERYONE CRIES CUZ IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

JAYNIE:
IT’S PERFECT PROGRAMMING
GUYS:
A CATHEDRAL OF LOGIC AND ORDER AND NUMBERS ON MY SCREEN
ROGER:
IT’S MY WEDDING AND CHILDREN AND A HOUSE

TYE:
NO IT’S THE PEACE CORPS

ALL:
NO IT’S I DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT
A LOST SUMMER IN BRAZIL

GUYS:
IT’S THE TEXT THAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR
ALL:
IT’S AN IMAC PAD PHONE WATCH WALLET CAR BRAIN LOVER
ITS AN ILOVER
ITS AN ILOVER
IT’S AN IGOD

CYRUS:
AND NO MORE NIGHTMARES
OR DISAPPOINTMENTS

GRACE:
I DON’T DISAPPOINT THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE ME

MO:
AND MY PARENTS ARE BACK TOGETHER

HARPER:
OR MY PARENTS

MO, HARPER:
MY PARENTS ARE FINALLY APART

MO:
AND THEY’RE HAPPY AGAIN

JAYNIE:
AND MY YOUTH IS RECLAIMED
A CLEAN SLATE
EVERY TRAUMA WIPED AWAY

DAKOTA:
IT’S PERFECT FIRST SEX

TYE:
AND “I LOVE YOU” REALLY LASTS
AND I FEEL WANTED

ROGER:
AND I’M SKINNY

MO:
AND I’M PLUMP
AND I’M CONFIDENT AND FUNNY

CYRUS:
AND I WALK IN AND EVERYONE SMILES

ALL:
AND NO MORE HEARTBREAK
AND NO MORE DATERAPE
AND NO MORE PREDATORS OR PEDOPHILES

JAYNIE, TYE:
AND I UNDERSTAND MY SEXUALITY AND MY GENDER

GROUP:
IT’S PERFECT PRONOUNS
AND EVERYONE IS MIXED RACE
AND EVERYONE’S IN LOVE

SAMSON:
OH BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE TOTALLY HAPPY ALONE TOO

JANELLE, GRACE:
IT’S HAPPINESS IN SOLITUDE
A CUP OF TEA AND A GOOD BOOK

MO:
AND THE SONG OF ICE AND FIRE GETS FINISHED

GIRLS:
AND BEYONCE NEVER DIES

ALL:
AND I DREAM OF A WORLD
WHERE I DON’T HAVE TO DANCE
AND MY FEET DON’T FAIL
BEFORE I’VE HAD MY CHANCE
IF THIS IS THE WORLD YOU’RE GIVING ME
IF THIS IS THE BEST YOU COULD DO
I ACCEPT YOUR GIFT GRACIOUSLY
AS LONG THE SKIES ARE STILL BLUE
AND I WILL BEGIN THE RITES
OF ABSOLUTION AND PURIFICATION
IN THE MORNING
WHEN I’M READY

GUYS:
PHILANTHROPY, SERVICE, AND GOODNESS

JAYNIE:
NO ONE STARVES

TYE:
NO ONE FALLS SHAKING TO THE GROUND

HARPER:
NO ONE REEKS OF FILTH AND DESPAIR

GROUP:
THERE’S A HOME AND A HOT MEAL FOR EVERYONE

GUYS:
THERE’S NO ADDICTIONS
AND DRUGS ARE JUST THE RIGHT DEGREE OF LEGAL

HARPER:
MENTAL ILLNESS IS GONE

WOMEN:
OCD GONE
BIPOLAR GONE
SCHIZOPHRENIA GONE
DEPRESSION GONE
AND SUICIDE GONE

MO:
THE END OF CANCER AND HIV

GROUP:
DEMENTIA, PARKINSON’S, MS, ALZHEIMERS
ALL THE SCREAMING MADNESSES
NO MORE LIFE SUPPORT
NO ONE CUT SHORT

DAKOTA:
AND WE EAT REAL FOOD

GROUP:
LOCAL AND ORGANIC

GIRLS:
AND THE ROBOT SLAUGHTERHOUSES ARE SHUTTERED UP

HARPER, JAYNIE, DAKOTA:
AND THERE’S FREE BIRTH CONTROL
GRACE, TYE
AND ABORTION IS UNAMBIGUOUS

ROGER:
AND THE END OF RACISM

GROUP:
THE END OF MICROAGGRESSIONS

CYRUS:
AND POLICE BRUTALITY

JAYNIE:
REPARATIONS

MEN:
AND THE TABOO WORDS ARE NEUTERED

HARPER
AND HUMOR IS PERFECT AND NO ONE GETS OFFENDED

ALL:
AND CLIMATE CHANGE IS STOPPED
AND THE WHALES AND THE EAGLES AND THE PANDAS
ARE THRIVING
WE RETURN THE LAND
TO THE STEWARDS OF ECOLOGY
OBLITERATE THE RAPES OF CAPITALIST IDEOLOGY

JAYNIE:
AND THE FALL OF THE 1%

SAMSON, HARPER:
NO IT’S ME IN THE 1%

ALL:
NO IT’S EVERYBODY HAS ONE 7-BILLIONTH

DAKOTA, JANELLE:
OF 100 PERCENT

ALL:
THE FALL OF INTERNATIONAL BORDERS

JAYNIE:
AND THE END OF TERRORISM
JIHAD AND ORTHODOXY

ALL:
AND THE MIDDLE EAST IS FINE
AND AFRICA IS FINE
AND TEXAS IS FINE
SOUTH AMERICA FINE

CHINA
IRELAND
ISRAEL
PALESTINE
INDONESIA
NORTH KOREA

AND THE NUKES ARE GONE
AND THE GUNS ARE GONE
AND THE SCHOOLS ARE SAFE
AND EVERYBODY IS KIND AND SMART

NO MURDER
NO INJUSTICE

AND AN END TO THE MIDNIGHT EXECUTIONS OF THE INNOCENTS
AND ALL THE PRISONERS SHALL BE RELEASED
AND THEIR TIME GIVEN BACK
AND ALL THE GHOSTS RETURN

EVERYONE WE EVER LOVED COMES BACK
AND WE’RE AT THE BEACH
IN GORGEOUS SWIMSUITS

AND THE SUN IS MAGNIFICENT
AND WE CAN ALL FINALLY SEE
WE LOOK UP FROM OUR SCREENS

FROM THE ENDLESS SUCKING CLICKBAIT LOBOTOMY
WE WAKE UP AND LOOK INTO EACH OTHERS EYES

INTO THE STARS AND BLACK HOLES
INTO THE QUARKS AND SECRET SOULS
WE BREAK THE SPEED OF LIGHT

AND WE FINALLY KNOW
WE KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN

AND WE KNOW
AND WE KNOW THAT EVERYTHING’LL BE OK
AND THAT EVERY MOMENT COUNTS

EVERY DAY
EVERY HOUR
EVERY MINUTE
EVERY SECOND

WE KNOW THAT EVERY SECOND COUNTS
IF THIS IS THE WORLD YOU’RE GIVING ME
IF THIS IS THE BEST YOU COULD DO
I ACCEPT YOUR GIFT GRACIOUSLY

AS LONG THE SKIES ARE STILL BLUE
AND I WILL BEGIN THE RITES
OF ABSOLUTION AND PURIFICATION
IN THE MORNING
WHEN I’M READY

IF THIS IS THE WORLD YOU’RE GIVING ME
IF THIS IS THE BEST YOU COULD DO
I ACCEPT YOUR GIFT GRACIOUSLY

AS LONG THE SKIES ARE STILL BLUE
AND I WILL BEGIN THE RITES
OF ABSOLUTION AND PURIFICATION
IN THE MORNING
WHEN I’M READY

IN THE MORNING
WHEN I’M READY

IN THE MORNING
WHEN I’M READY