Dave Malloy
Murder Ballet Part One
[YUSAPOOF]
You know what?
[MURDERER]
What?
[YUSAPOOF]
I am mad and I am sick of some outside man walking into our town Some outside man mocking our Tsar
Fornicating and swaying our war and fornicating 'round town
I am mad and I am sick of this loose prick
[MURDERERS]
Let's take him down
Let's take him out
Let's take him out
Let's run him out of town
[YUSAPOOF]
I am sick and I am mad of this loose prick
Snaking our Tsarista
This loose prick faking his way through gates
This mad monk of a man is making a big mistake
[MURDERERS]
How should we do it?
How should we take him out?
How should we take him down?
How should we take him down?
How should we take him out?
We could punch him in the face
We could punch him in the face
We could punch him in the face
Until he dies
Until he dies
Until he dies
Until he dies
[MURDERER #3]
I don't think that will work
[YUSAPOOF]
Why won't it work?
[MURDERERS]
Hе's pretty big
And if we try
And if we try I think hе would maybe punch us in the face
Until we die
Until we die
Until we die
Until we die
[YUSAPOOF]
I think you're right
[MURDERERS]
We know we're right
We know we're right
[YUSAPOOF]
But what if you two held him down while I punch him in the face?
You two could hold his arms
So he couldn't lash out with punches to our face
[MURDERERS]
I still think he's too big
Yeah he's a big guy
He probably has some weird wrestling moves
Some crazy backwoods shit
[YUSAPOOF]
Well what shall we do?
My ideas are small and few
[MURDERERS]
Get some rope and a couple horses too
Tie each of his wrists to a horse with the rope
[YUSAPOOF]
Spread eagle!
[MURDERERS]
And we ride away
[YUSAPOOF]
Split spread eagle!
[MURDERERS]
He is pulled apart dead
He is pulled apart dead
We could do that instead of punching him in the face
[YUSAPOOF]
All that seems a bit messy and not too classy
We are men of society
Of the fancy variety
[MURDERERS]
Maybe you are right
Yeah maybe you are right
[YUSAPOOF]
I know I'm right
I know I'm right
[MURDERERS]
Yeah maybe you are right
[YUSAPOOF]
Okay
So hey
What if we get some poison
We'll poison him with poison
Poison coated cookies
We'll poison him with poison
Poison coated cookies
[MURDERERS]
We'll poison him with poison
Poison coated cookies
[YUSAPOOF]
Macaroons
[MURDERERS]
Coconut
[YUSAPOOF]
Macaroons
[MURDERERS]
Coconut
[YUSAPOOF]
Macaroons have class
[MURDERERS]
We could get some wine too
We could get some wine too
[YUSAPOOF]
In case he doesn't like the coconuts
Wine and cookies covered in poison
[YUSAPOOF & MURDERERS]
Wine and cookies covered in poison
Wine and cookies covered in poison
Let's take him down
Let's take him out
Let's take him out
Let's run him out of town
Let's kill him
Send him hellbound
Let's take him out
Let's take him down
Wine and cookies covered in poison