[Verse 1]
Hey, mister, where you headed?
Are you in a hurry?
Need a lift to happy hour? Say "Oh no"
Do you brake for distilled spirits?
I need a break as well
The well that inebriates the guilt, one

[Verse 2]
Cold turkey's gettin' stale
Tonight, I'm eating crow
Fermented salmonella, poison oak, no
There's a drought at the fountain of youth
And I'm dehydrated
My tongue is swellin' up, I say, one, two, three

[Chorus]
Troubled times, you know I cannot lie
I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride

[Bridge]
There's a drought at the fountain of youth
And I'm dehydratеd
My tongue is swellin' up, I said
One, two (Onе, two, three, four)
[Chorus]
Troubled times, you know I cannot lie
I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride

[Outro]
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
Say birthday boys, hey

[Outro]
Well, howdy neighbor
Why, why is it you guys seem so fucking far away?
Come on up here
I'm sick of this shit, what the fuck?
How you doing?
What the hell happened to Tré?
That's Tré
That's Mike
And my name is Paco Tachuela
So I remember some of you guys from about, about, about four years ago
And some of you guys were like, like fourteen
And with your like, you're with your parents and stuff, you're with your parents
You come to the show, you're with your parents, and they went
"Who are they? I really like that song 'Basket Case'"
But now, but now, no, check this out
Now you come back, you're like, eighteen
And you're completely fucked up
And I have to say one thing, I take full responsibility for that