[Verse 1]
Hey man, can you hear me out?
I've got a little knowledge for you
I've noticed a few discrepancies and I thought I'd just inform you
I finally have it figured out
I found the last piece of the puzzle
Yes, you've been living in the dark and I'm the light deep in the tunnel

[Pre-Chorus]
There are so many things that the world has taught to you
And FYI
I don't know why you believe it

[Chorus 1]
Oh my God
I can't believe the stupid things you've said
Due to stupid things you've read
On the internеt
Your take is flawed
Therе's nothing worse than thinking you're correct
When your story's such a wreck
And your account's in debt

[Verse 2]
"The sky isn't blue", they say
"It's particulate light refraction"
Well, I can't believe you've fallen for such ridiculous abstraction
Roses are red, violets aren't blue
They are actually light magenta
And hamburgers aren't made from ham
They are made from goat placenta
[Pre-Chorus]
Guns give you cancer and fish can read your mind
Keanu Reeves
Is secretly pretty awesome

[Chorus 2]
Oh my God
I can't believe the stupid things you've said
Due to stupid things you've read
On the internet
Your strokes are broad
Your foil hat's been poisoning your head
Like a fedora made of lead
A crown of low respect

[Verse 4]
Now I know it might seem strange
How can I be so sure without evidence?
It's not because I am deranged
I simply read The Onion, they're the only source that makes any sense

[Bridge]
This is Big Company International, how can I help you?
Ah yes, can you put me on to the CEO, please?
Did you have an appointment, sir?
Oh, no, I don't believe in appointments
Well, I'm sorry, but the CEO's a very busy man, so you'll have-
Oh, I'm well aware of how busy he is. I mean, I imagine it takes all day to apply the make-up to hide those lizard features of his
Sorry, sir?
[Chorus 3]
Oh my God
I can't believe the stupid things you've said
Due to stupid things you've read
On the internet
The world's a fraud
Autism's caused by glutens in your bread
And Jeffrey Epstein isn't dead
You have been misled
He's hanging out instead
With old Walt Disney's head