Alan Moore
The Killing Joke
The Joker:
So, I see you received the free ticket I sent you.
I'm glad. I did so want you to be here.
You see, it doesn't matter if you catch me and send me back to the Asylum.
Gordon's been driven mad. I've proved my point!
I've demonstrated that even the sanest man alive can be driven to lunacy! All it takes is one bad day.
That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.
You had a bad day once. Am I right? I know I am. You had a bad day, and everything changed! Why else would you dress up as a flying rat?
You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else! Only you won't admit it!
You have to keep pretending that life makes sense. That there's some point to all this struggling. GOD you make me want to puke!
I mean what is it with you? What made you what you are?
Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that I bet...something like that...
...something like that...happened to me, you know? I'm...I'm not exactly sure what it was. Sometimes, I remember it one way, sometimes another...if I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice! Haha!
My point is...my point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a coot!
I admit it! So why can't you? You're not unintelligent, you must see the reality of the situation?
Do you know how many times we've come close to World War III over a flock of geese on a computer screen? Do you even know what triggered the last world war? An argument with Germany over how many telegraph poles they owed their war debt creditors. Telegraph poles!
It's all a joke! Anything anybody ever valued or struggled for, it's all just a monstrous, demented gag.
So why can't you see the funny side?
Why aren't you laughing?
(Batman crashes through a mirror and attacks the Joker)

Batman:
Because I've heard it before...and it wasn't funny the first time.
(Batman throws the Joker through another mirror.)
Incidentally, I spoke to Commissioner Gordon before I came in here. He's fine. Despite all your sick, vicious little games, he's as sane as he ever was. So maybe ordinary people don't always crack. Maybe there isn't any need to crawl under a rock with all the other slimy things when trouble hits. Maybe it was just you, all the time.
Joker:
NO! (Joker pulls Batman's cowl down, blocking his vision and attacking him.)

Batman:
Don't...
(Joker pulls out a gun, but when he pulls the trigger a white flag shoots out with the words CLICK CLICK CLICK)

Joker:
God damn it...it's empty! Well? What are you waiting for? I shot a defenseless girl, I terrorized an old man. Why don't you kick the hell out of me and get a standing ovation from the public gallery?

Batman:
Because I'm doing this one by the book...and because I don't want to. Do you understand? I don't want to hurt you. I don't want either of us to end up killing the other...but we're both running out of alternatives...and we both know it. Maybe it all hinges on tonight. Maybe this is our last chance to sort this bloody mess out. If you don't take it, then we're locked onto a suicide course. Both of us. To the death. It doesn't have to end like that. I don't know what it was that bent your life out of shape, but who knows? Maybe I've been there too. Maybe I can help. We could work together. I could rehabilitate you. You needn't be out there on the edge any more. You needn't be alone. We don't have to kill each other. What do you say?

Joker:
...No. I'm sorry, but...No. It's too late for that. Far too late. Hahaha. Y'know, it's funny...this situation. It reminds me of a joke.
See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum...and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape. So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight...stretching away to freedom.Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daredn't make the leap. Y'see...y'see, he's afraid of falling. So the first guy gets an idea. He says, "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!"
B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says...he says "What do you think I am? Crazy?"
"You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"