[FOUR JOSHES]
Oh-oh-oh-oh

[JOSH]
Girl, I know things haven’t always been so easy for you
Kids were mean, and your daddy walked right out the door too
Maybe we should have a session, address your anxiety and depression
'Cause I got a funny feeling if we do—

[FOUR JOSHES]
Baby, you can kiss all your childhood traumas goodbye
You’re never gonna miss all that stress you’ve been keeping inside
All your psychological problems
Girl, we’re gonna solve them
‘Cause we’re not just a boy band made up of four Joshes
We’re also a team of licensed mental health professionals

[JOSH #3]
We’ll help you understand the reason that your mom made you sad

[JOSH #4]
And why every man you date is just

[FOUR JOSHES]
A stand-in for your dad
[JOSH #1]
You’ll stop revisiting your fears
Once we wipe away your tears

[JOSH #2]
Trust us, girl, your prognosis isn’t bad

[FOUR JOSHES]
Baby, you can kiss all your unexplained symptoms goodbye
You’re never gonna miss all those nightmares in which you tend to die
We’ll get you through those developmental stages
That you’ve been stuck in for ages
‘Cause we’re not just a boy band made up of four Joshes
We’re also a team of nationally-recognized mental health professionals trained in cognitive behavioral therapy with specialities in—

[JOSH #1]
Personality and sleep disorders...

[JOSH #2]
And love