[Verse 1]
Mom says, "Put on your Christmas best
Grandpa's coming down this year and it might be his last"
"Why, mom? You say that every time
It seems that he's been dying ever since I was nine"

[Verse 2]
I don't mean no disrespect because he's old and mean
How come we invite him when he always makes a scene?
Tell me, why does, he hit me with his cane?
And why should I get him a gift if he doesn't know my name
How come he always calls me Kate
And forgets his dentures on his dinner plate?

[Chorus]
This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
That's what mother said
Grandpa's last Christmas
And soon he might be dead, so be nice

[Refrain]
Be nice to grandpa

[Verse 3]
What can I say to someone 300 years old
When he seems so content staring at the Jell-O mold?
Please mom, let me go out and play
Or soon I will go deaf like him from hearing him complain
[Verse 4]
I know his life's been long and hard
And he deserves some quiet and peace in a nice graveyard
Grandpa, I love you just the same
But I know that you won't be happy 'til you drive us all insane

[Chorus]
This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
That's what mother said
Grandpa's last Christmas
And soon he might be dead, so be nice

[Outro]
Be nice to Grandpa
'Cause he's old and he smells
And he's gonna die soon
Be nice to Grandpa