[Verse 1]
I'm Palm Palm head and I wrote one good song
But that was almost 20 years ago
I tried and I tried to follow it up
But you know how those sophomore jinxes go

[Chorus 1]
So I became quite bitter as sales dropped like flies
No one likes these dumb songs of car racing and spies
Maybe it's my ape drape or hippies in my band
But now we only tour in Arizona or Japan

[Verse 2]
So after much thought and a panel of experts
I came up with a brilliant little plan
I'll take out my frustrations
On one of these ungrateful new punk rock bands

[Chorus 2]
'Cause I invented socks and I invented gravy
I made up the cotton gin but no one ever paid me
Why beat a dead horse with a career that is cursed?
I'll just sue for royalties on things I thought of first

[Bridge]
Back in Ancient Egypt many Pharaohs went to jail
For misappropriation of my Phrigian scale
[Chorus 3]
I said listen to Tutankhamen you're driving me insane
It's obvious those bellies are all dancing to Bloodstains
I figured out you owe me and please try not to laugh
But every time I hear it I get one more golden calf

[Verse 3]
So I've bitten off a sizable chunk
Of the hands of the people with the food
Now I'm confined to the pages of Flipside
A graveyard of punk rock's 35 year old dudes

[Chorus 2]
'Cause I invented socks and I invented gravy
I made up the cotton gin but no one ever paid me
Why beat a dead horse with a career that is cursed?
I'll just sue for royalties on things I thought of first, oh

[Outro]
Palm Palm! Palm Palm!
Palm Palm! Palm Palm!
Ape Drape! Ape Drape!
Poodle Head! Poodle Head!
Palm Palm! Palm Palm!
Ape Drape! Poodle Head!
Palm Palm! Palm Palm!
Ape Drape! Poodle Head!
Poodle Head! Poodle Head! Poodle Head!