[Verse 1]
Don't understand the gals I meet much lately
Never sure quite what they wanna hear
They're all hittin' up the club, drinkin' real expensive bub
All I really wanted was a beer

[Chorus]
Drunk sluts, they're drivin' me nuts
Can't hold their liquor so they stick a buncha dicks in their butts
When I was younger, used to be no gal would ever cheat on me
Now I only seem to meet drunk sluts

[Verse 2]
They say the girls comin' up these days are looser
One date with them they'll let you spend the night
I click on the internet, watch a million different porno clips
And so far, I ain't seen the same girl twice

[Chorus]
Drunk sluts, they're drivin' me nuts
Can't hold their liquor so they stick a buncha dicks in their butts
When I was younger, used to be no gal would ever cheat on me
Now I only seem to meet drunk sluts

[Bridge]
I know I'm gettin' older
But every gal can't be like these
Don't get me wrong I like to fuck, but it's easier sometimes to pee
Girls these days want the DJ, not the singer
Some douchebag scratchin', dressed up like a moose
I'm too distracted to flirt, they're all wearin' real short skirts
If I squint, I can pretty much see their cooch

[Chorus]
Drunk sluts, they're drivin' me nuts
Can't hold their liquor so they stick a buncha dicks in their butts
When I was younger, used to be no gal would ever cheat on me
Now I only seem to meet
Doesn't give a shit to me
Now I only seem to meet drunk sluts