[Verse 1]
My party life
Traded in for a kid and a wife
No more being alone
I got a home
Instead of sex with whores
I wake you up, girl, when you snore
Instead of bangin' sluts
I wipe the baby's butt

[Chorus 1]
Now we do anal and the dishes
Sunday shopping with them Walmart bitches
Dinner back at home
Then at night I stretch out your tight tight butt hole
Anal and the dishes
Sunday shopping with them Walmart bitches
Dinner back at home
Then at night I stretch out your tight tight butt hole

[Verse 2]
Cocaine days are gone
Now I get high from mowin' the lawn
Instead of Waylon songs
Now I watch rom-coms
No more Jim Beam shots
Rather wait in the K-Mart lot
Fill the SUV
With Huggies, Charmin, and Vaseline