There are five delightful flavors in a Lifesavers roll
Yeah, my grandma used to say I've got a sentimental skull
But my grandma was a waitress
My mom was a waitress
And I am a waitress too

Yeah, your dad, he was a cop and punched you right in the head
You said. "Fuck you, Dad, I hate you" and that's just what you meant
But your dad was a cop
I bet his dad was a cop
Yeah, but you're no cop, you see

No, to me you are the Great Wall of China
Yeah, to me, you are the golden gates of Hell
Yeah, to me, you are college camping trips and hockey
Yeah, to me, you are the lies that you tell

No, it's true that I still love you
For how long, I never could tell
But our lives are the same
Both in shape and in length
For when you die, I will die as well