[RAM, spoken]
Hey, 'Ronica

[VERONICA, spoken]
Ew
You got a left hand, use it

[KURT, spoken]
Don't talk mean like that

[RAM, spoken]
You'll hurt their feelings

[RAM, KURT, RAM & KURT]
You make my balls so blue, you hurt them badly
You make my balls so blue, they're hangin' sadly
What did they do to you that you hate them so?
Don't run from me, they're all beat up like a tacklin' dummy

They long for your embrace, they're warm like mittens
They'll curl up on your face and purr like kittens
You make my balls so blue, just look at them glow
They're beggin' you, don't make my balls so blue

[RAM & KURT]
Mhh
[VERONICA, spoken]
Heather? Heather? Open the door

[H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
Oh no, oh no, no, no

[RAM & KURT]
Mhh

[VERONICA, spoken]
Open the door!

[H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
Oh no, oh no, no, no

[RAM, KURT, RAM & KURT, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
You make my balls so blue (Ooh, so blue)
So please say hello
Hold 'em, enfold 'em and never let go (Ooh, ah)

Once you were geeky and nerdy (Ooh, ooh)
But they knew you're dirty (Ooh, ooh)
You set them on fire (Ooh, ooh)
Whatever you require, they'll do (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ah)
So take 'em home to meet your parents
[KURT & RAM, H. DUKE & H.MCNAMARA]
They'll wear a suit and tie (Ooh)

[KURT, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
And a fancy collar

[RAM, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
They'll sing a lullaby (Ooh)

[KURT & RAM]
La-la-la-la-la

[ALL]
Please make these balls not blue

[RAM]
Just for a while

[KURT, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
(Ooh) Can't wait 'til later

[KURT & RAM, ALL]
My pants are rubbin' like a hot cheese grater

[VERONICA, spoken]
Look, booze, drink
[KURT, spoken]
Thank you so much

[RAM, KURT, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
They will protect you, defend you
Respect you, befriend you
Like Winnie-the-Pooh (Winnie-the-Pooh)
Baby, baby, baby, they're so blue

[RAM, KURT, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
(Ooh) My balls will work for you
They will obey ya
(Ooh) They really need rescue
Like Princess Leia

[KURT & RAM, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
(Ooh) Baby, you've gots to come through

[KURT]
Teach them to smile

[RAM, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
You've got no clue how much these two depend on you

[ALL]
Please help them through
My balls are in your court

[RAM & KURT, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA]
You make them balls so blue (Yeah)
You make my balls so blue (You make them balls so blue)

[RAM, spoken]
Ow

[KURT, spoken]
Ow!

[RAM & KURT, H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA, ALL]
You make my balls so blue
You shake them (Good God), you quake them (My balls)
You break, you make my balls so blue

[H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA, RAM, KURT]
You take them, you bake them (Lookit, lookit, lookit, lookit)
Chrissake

[ALL]
You make my balls so blue
Please make their dreams come true
And make these balls not blue