[Verse 1: Alex]
What you want you? A house or a car?
Forty acres and a mule, a piano, a guitar?
Anything', see, my name is Uncle Sam, I'm your dog
Motherfucker, you can live at the mall
I know your kind (that's why I'm kind)
Don't have receipts (oh, man, that's fine)
Pay me later, wear those gators
Cliché? Then say, "Fuck your haters"
I can see the baller in you
I can see the dollar in you
Little white lies, but it's no white-collar in you
But it's whatever though because I'm still following' you
Because you make me live forever, baby, count it all together, baby
Then hit the register and make me feel better, baby
Your horoscope is a Gemini, two sides
So you better cop everything two times
Two coupes, two chains, two C-notes
Too much ain't enough, both we know
Christmas, tell 'em what's on your wishlist
Get it all, you deserve it, Alex
And when you hit the White House, do you
But remember, you ain't pass economics in school
And everything you buy, taxes will deny
I'll Wesley Snipe your ass before thirty-five
Wow
That’s deep
Goddamn
[Verse 2: Conor]
You know
I don’t really know what I’m gonna say right here
But I wanted it to be cool
And I really wanted to be included in this album
So
Kick back
Relax
And enjoy the tunes

[Verse 3: Tor]
Ay, yo, I’m gonna tell y’all a little story
Okay, this was back in mother fucking
Junior year of high school
I had a college admissions advisor
So this guy would like
Advise me on the application process
And help me pick schools based on
You know, my interests and shit
Ok, so this guy, upon hearing my college prospects
Cause- I- I wanted to go to NYU and USC and Chapman
You know, a perspective film student
You know, with these schools being sought after institutions
Upon seeing my SAT scores and other determining factors
He left me with this quote
Alright, I’m gonna spit this for you
“Shoot for the stars
But the moon’s pretty good too.”
[Verse 4: Charlie]
Fuck the fame, keep cheatin' on me
What I do, I took her back, fool me twice that's my bad
I can't even blame her for that
'Nough to make me wanna murder, mama please just get my bail
I know nobody to blame
Kurt Cobain, I did it to myself, uh
And we all just
Entertainers
And we're stupid
And contagious

[Verse 5: Casey]
Insert Casey’s verse

[Break: Andrew, Alex]
Alex…?
Can you please write my paper
Hahahaha
Please!

[Verse 6: Matt]
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
I got no flow like I’m constipated
Well, I am also actually constipated
I eat ass like a donkey muncher
Penis crusher
Jesus must’ve loved her
Cause those titties be holy
Guacamole, I’m a better wrapper than your Dad the night before Christmas
But what he doesn’t know is that he’s on my wish list
A squared b squared equals mother fucking c squared
Pythagorean theorem got your bitch on my d squared
Got my mouth on her nipple like a breast pump
Got her hands on my nuts like she checking for a lump
Ay
Ok, six foot two with that compact
Call me short stack
Got no racks
Blow backs
Like a fucking chiropractor
Velociraptor
I have dug myself a hole by using velociraptor
JUST KIDDING
Velociraptor
Yeah I tapped her
Smack the pastor
Pass the asher
I’m the greatest rapper
I love math cause I’m the most common factor
Lacking good connections
Like I need an adapter
Got my eyes on the bands like I’m a music agent
From the south like I’m a raging cajun
You best be playing
In the south
Is where I’m not staying, I’m actually in Illinois right now
Damn
I live in Illinois now
That’s crazy
The United States education system has fundamentally failed an entire generation
I be clapping bros’ cheeks, it’s an upgrade from mastrubation
AGHH
[Break: Alex]
Where did they move to?
Fucker’s Isle Brazil!
Alright?

[Verse 7: Max Voltz]
なんであいつらはピンク？
動物園で思った ピンク
食べ物で そうなんだ
実は私はたらこが大好き
プラス エビ カニ 食べよう
ピンク色になるの
だからみんな違う色
人間って勘違いしてるよね

[Verse 8: Gylani]
*animal crossing noises*

[Verse 9: Catalina]
*animal noises*

[Break: Gylani]
[?]

[Break: Ben, Gylani, Alex]
You’re running a literal
Haha
Crime sex ring
I am not!
With beastiality
You’re the main customer
You’re the one walking in there- (When-)
When have I fucked a duck?
I don’t know, I don’t know what you do in your free time
Well then how do you-
Well then how am I a customer if you don’t if I fuck ducks or not?
I work- (Haha)
I work in housing
I can sit there, look at the cameras, watch you-
And watch me not fuck ducks? (putting your penis inside a duck)
Fair enough
You, will fuck, a duck
This is how-
So those people definitely heard that
Haha
Oh the world will hear this
The world will hear this!

[Verse 10: Ben, Alex]
Thank you for the love (AH)
Thank you for the joy(AH)
But I don’t ever
Fall in love again (THAT’S RIGHT)
Thank you for the time (AGH)
Thank you for your mind (AGH)
But I don't ever
Fall in love again
(LET’S GO)

[Verse 11: Catalina]
Once upon a time
There was a player
The player was you
Sometimes it thought itself human
On the thin crust of a spinning globe of molten rock
The ball of molten rock circled a ball of blazing gas
That was three hundred and thirty thousand times more massive than it
They were so far apart that light took eight minutes to cross the gap
The light was information from a star
And it could burn your skin from a hundred and fifty million kilometers away
Sometimes the player dreamed it was a miner
On the surface of a world that was flat, and infinite
The sun was a square of white
The days were short; there was much to do;
And death was a temporary inconvenience
Sometimes the player dreamed it was lost in a story
Sometimes the player dreamed it was other things, in other places
Sometimes these dreams were disturbing
Sometimes very beautiful indeed
Sometimes the player woke from one dream into another
Then woke from that into a third
And sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it
Through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter
Where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye
Might be a star a million times as massive as the sun
Boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player
Walking home at the far side of the universe
Suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again
And sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it
Through the zeros and ones
Through the electricity of the world
Through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream
And the universe said I love you
And the universe said you have played the game well
And the universe said everything you need is within you
And the universe said you are stronger than you know
And the universe said you are the daylight
And the universe said you are the night
And the universe said the darkness you fight is within you
And the universe said the light you seek is within you
And the universe said you are not alone
And the universe said you are not separate from every other thing
And the universe said you are the universe tasting itself
Talking to itself, reading its own code
And the universe said I love you because you are love
And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream
And the player began a new dream
And the player dreamed again, dreamed better
And the player was the universe
And the player was love
You are the player
Wake up

[Verse 12: Meredith]
Um, fun fact
I wasn’t taught uh
Phonics as a kid
And so now I pronounce
Bouquet as bouquet
And façade as façade
Hahaha
In my head, every time I read them
Without fail
There you go
Don’t hold that over my head please
Hahaha

[Verse 13: Will]
My Jeans were all baggy
They went past my heels
I’m searching for a savior
One who knows how it feels
I searched the world over
I went out my way
Then one day I found her
Now I want her to stay
Mom pegged my jeans (My jeans)
She made the legs shorter
Mom pegged my jeans (My jeans)
Now I don’t have to order
A new pair to wear around the scene
Mom pegged my jeans (My jeans)
Mom pegged my jeans (My jeans)

[Verse 14: Max Voltz]
Yeah, naked truth lies, only if you realize
Appearing in nobody's eyes, till they sterilize
Stop the guerrilla, warfare to keep fair
Bro, change your rage to a smarter greater cause
You know the stake is high stardom is near
Those who sympathized you died, killer pass you by
Do not waste your time In hating flirting guys
Use your might to AIs to do justice to them all

[Break: Jack]
No, No, NO NO NO
NOOOO
UUAAAGHHHHHHHH
THIS WAS NOT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO
IIIIIIIIII HAD IT ALL PLANNED OUT

[Verse 15: Payton]
What’s up losers
It’s Payton
Uh
I am just gonna read a little poem I wrote
I keep telling myself I’ll see you again one day
Maybe in passing on the sidewalk of some unnamed town
Or in a bar hidden deep in the city on a Tuesday night
Because none of us can sleep
Or even just a glimpse of you sitting next to me at a stoplight
I keep telling myself that the universe will cause our paths to cross again
It’s the only thing I can do
Because I can’t stand the thought of never seeing you again
You see, we never know that the beginning is the beginning
Until we’re halfway through the story
And we don’t know the end is the end until we start reading the next one
But the middle of it all was a chaotic and beautiful and most of the time insane mess;
One that not even the best housekeepers in my brain could clean
In the meantime, you’ll keep living your life
And I’ll keep living mine
But I’ll see you tomorrow
And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
And every tomorrow that follows until tomorrow doesn’t exist anymore
I came into this lounge group
Sometime at the end of winter quarter
Beginning of spring
And, I didn’t really know any of you
Very well
But
God am I so glad I did
And I got to know all of you individually
And as a group
And I don’t know what I would’ve done this quarter without you guys
So
Thanks for being
The craziest people
That I’ve met this year
And
Thanks for being
Home
U Hall has been our home for the past year
And you guys have been part of that home
I’m going to cherish every single memory that we made here
I want to remember this
Even though it didn’t last very long
Years down the road
I want to remember this
Thank you guys
For everything
This is Payton
Signing off

[Verse 16: Alex]
Bad bitch, pardon me, I say, "What's up?" (Yuh)
Educated, so I put her in the cut (What)
I need a girlfriend
I need a girlfriend (Yuh)
Two hoes and I think I did too much
I got two phones and I don't know who to trust (Yuh)
I need a girlfriend (Yuh)
I need a girlfriend (Yuh)
AGH
Keem
Baby Keem
Fin