If you don’t know by now
What’s the matter again?
There was a loss, it didn’t connect
I guess then you’ll never know

Light broke through the window
It never leaves you now
Just tracing circles
And I could get up soon
But then I’ll still have to face it

There was an atrophe
The arms that we used to pull us free

Stay, I’ll be down right away
Thought about all you’ll never know
It’s been so long
Thought about how much still hasn’t changed

Romanticized the orange sky
But I’ve seen a sunrise a dozen times
If you don’t want to try, it’s alright

Then when everything came back to us
There was no end to our recolection
Awkward placement in our
Far-more-awkward scenes
Took a job in your misery
Cause you knew that’s where she would be
(Look at you, she’ll be ready soon)
She left, and so you wanted to leave
And you messaged her coming clean
And then she said that she’d rather be with
(Then she flew to)
The best friend of her brother
Who said he loved her

Say, do you feel so grown the way you are
Do you ever fear you’ll never feel that way again?
I guess that’s what it’s supposed to be like
Things that kept us up at night
All that anchored us can never have that weight again
So it came and went
Rope we’re tethered to, bound by its fraying end

Then you looked at me
So credibly you said
You’re looking through a lense
Back then you couldn’t wait for this all to end
Though there’s nothing we can learn
Giving nothing in return
A pain we earn so why repeat it?
(don’t rely on your eyes to inform you
When you know how easily they misinterpret the light
So focus on what we’ve measured repeatedly)

(dreamed again the other day
A fleeting thought, uneven shape
Thought you might see her there
An eager pace, an empty chair
So why repeat it?)

(said you came intent to say
Content to always stay the same
The friends you made and pushed away
The price you paid so why repeat it?)



Final descent, sheets for a different bed
Everything we said still ended in an argument
Then the ill would end
And then again

The cracks that would form
We’d fill, we’d mend, we’d fix
But there was permanence in our reluctance
What if we just watch them leak
As we lie in wait until the rain came
Some day
We’ll watch above as the ceiling bows and breaks free
Day dreams we’ll be repeating
If you don’t know by now
You’ll never know