I'm five, I'm five, I am a big girl now, I'm five
I can dress myself
I don't need mum, to help me anymore
And when I sit in my father's chair
My feet can reach the floor

See that?
I'm five, I'm five, I am a big girl now, I'm five
I'll bet I'm old enough to hold my breath for more than half an hour
You wanna see me not be afraid whenever I take my shower
I'll throw this brush a mile away and kill that rattlesnake
Damn I can swallow my chewing gum down and now get a bellyache!

See that, I'm five, I'm five, I am a big girl now, I'm five
My mother doesn't spank me just
For going without a hat
She knows darn well I'd run away
'Cause I'm too old for that

What does she think I'm three?
Not me
What does she think I'm four?
I'm more than four
I'm even more than four and a half
I'm five
On April 24