Take your wellingtons off children, and mammy will tell you a pleasant story:

Once upon a time, there was a pretty little girl called Mary.
One day Mary's mother went to clean up the bedroom.
She said to Mary, "Mary! Stay in the kitchen while I clean up the bedroom, here is the kitchen drawer to play with"
and she bent down and handed her child the drawer.
"What shall I play at?" thought Mary
"I know" she thought, "I shall play at boats"
So she climbed on the sink, pushed in the plug and turned on the tap, then she climbed down and sat in the kitchen drawer.
The water soon came over the side of the sink and in no time at all, Mary was afloat.
"I am a brave girl captain" thought Mary as she sailed round and round the kitchen floor.
But the water soon came in a tiny hole in the side of the drawer.
"Mammy!" shouted Mary.
"What?" shouted Mary's mammy.
"Come in a minute" shouted Mary.
"Coming!" shouted Mary's mammy, then she stopped what she was doing and came into the kitchen.
"My boat's leaking" said Mary.
Mary's mother took a piece of chew gum out of her pinafore and chewed on it.
"There!" she said finally, and slapped the gum onto the leak.
"Come and have a ride on my boat" said Mary.
"Thank you" said Mary's mother.
She took off her shoes and waded through the water to the boat.
The time passed happily, then daddy's key was heard turning about in the lock.
He opened the door, and what a surprise he got when the kitchen drawer sailed past with Mary and her mother in it, moved swiftly down the pavement and into the gutter, where it stopped when it arrived at the nearest drain hole.
"Ha, ha, ha" he laughed, "you did give me a surprise"
Mary's mother, whose name was Ellen, stood up and made her way through the crowd of laughing neighbours in stocking soles with the kitchen drawer and Mary to her kitchen door.
"You are a happy family!" bellowed Mrs Cutelier, a querulous old French woman who lived eight doors down.
That night in bed, Ellen turned to her husband.
"Darling" she said, "I'm worried about Mary"
But Mary's father, whose name was Heimrich, and who had to listen to this every night, pretended to be asleep.