[Eva]
I was little Eva
The fat, ugly loser
The kid, kids wouldn’t let play
With no talent or charm, I belonged on a farm
With the pigs - so my mom used to say

So when I so Campbell cheer and soar to the heights
So lonely and free
In those Friday night lights
I ran home and cried
Feeling I died inside
‘Cause I knew that would never be me

But all was not lost
‘Cause no matter the cost
Eva decided that someday she’d be
Top girl
The one who gets to fly
Lookin' down on everyone and spittin’ in their eye!
Top girl
The one who gets to lead
Who people fear and envy, but they follow ‘cause they need!

Perfect body, flawless skin, and golden, flowing hair
The kind who kinda makes you wanna kill yourself right there
Campbell was the chosen one - well that was plain to see
Everything she ever had I wanted all for me!
I’d be top girl!
I got to school
Enrolled in every class
Two left feet, I couldn’t keep the beat to save my ass
Learned the pencil jump
The toe touch and the hurkey
Living on a frondament of NyQuil and beef jerky
Dyed hair, boob job, contacts tinted blue
Did lipo on myself - went from a sixteen to a two

And by the time of tryouts
I unveiled the brand new me
New eyes, new hair, new moves, new tits
Like I was born to be
Top girl!
Center of the stage
Falling down on every year book page!
Top girl
The girl most likely to
Who girls’ll wanna be
And guys’ll wanna do!
Little freshman follow just to copy what she does
And no one would’ve guessed that ugly, awkward girl she was

Now I was on the team, but my work had just begun
I needed to be captain ‘cause the captain’s number one!
There’s no deed I won’t do
No one I can’t destroy!
I’ll be top girl forever
And I am full of joy!