Fat lot of good it's done you
Tryin' to play the fool
When we know full well
You know your ass from your apercu
This club has standards, many
Try to come up short
That touch of thickness that makes a
Proper mesomorph, proper mesomorph

Five-foot-one
Eyes as cold as stone
Topped off by that hard blackened helmet
And I'm haunted by the freakish size of Nancy Reagan's head
(No way that thing came with that body)

(instrumental breakdown)

We, believe, believe
If, we, believe

Strike up the band, it's official
You've got my back
Next thing I know, I got me
A chronic pain in the sacroliliac
Think it's funny? laugh
Want your money back?
Count it out, then

One-two-three-four-five-foot-one
Eyes as cold as stone
Topped off by that fierce viking helmet
And I'm haunted by the freakish size of Nancy Reagan's head
(No way that thing came with that body)

And Roxy Music came to save the world
And all I got was this lousy T-shirt
And I'm haunted by the freakish size of Nancy Reagan's head
(No way that thing came with that body)

(Instrumental fadeout)