[Verse 1]
Let me tell you a story
My favorite band in life is playing town on Wednesday's night
I wish to God I had the nerve to go
The singer in the band's my type, not too big or small
But I hate to let my inner feelings show

[Chorus]
My made-up name is Vanity
'Cause a girl's best friend's her pride
And a working girl don't have to tolerate the mailman's tricks
Everybody gets three years of tribulation unless they lie
But with the female, three times two equals six

[Verse 2]
When I'm older, I wanna be a movie star just like Greta Garbo
Well, then I can tell everybody what to do
Well, she was so cool, it was plain to see that she was in control
I bet she never played the part of anyone's fool

[Chorus]
So, my made-up name is Vanity
'Cause a girl's best friend's her pride
And a working girl don't have to tolerate the mailman's tricks
(Oh no, oh no)
Everybody gets three years of tribulation unless they lie
But with the female, three times two equals six
[Bridge]
Play your song one time, baby girl
I don't think they heard you now, baby

That's all I need to say because I think you understand
Unless, of course, in another life you were a man

[Chorus]
Please believe me when I tell you
A girl's best friend's her pride
A working girl don't have to tolerate the mailman's tricks
No, she don't
Everybody gets three years of tribulation unless they lie
But with the female, three times two equals six
Won't somebody help me?

Please believe me when I tell you
A girl's best friend's her pride
A working girl don't have to tolerate the mailman's tricks
Sister, can you hear me?
(Everybody gets three years of tribulation unless they lie)
But with the female, (three times two equals six)
Three times two equals six
(Sister, can you hear me talkin' to ya?)

(Please believe me when I tell you)
(A girl's best friend's her pride) A girl's best friend's her pride
(A working girl don't have to tolerate the mailman's tricks)
(Sister, can you hear me?)
(Everybody gets three years of tribulation unless they lie)
But with the female, three times two equals six