[Chorus: The Fart Nibbaz and Ewan Haynes]
Eighteen fully-clothed cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch
Limp, flaccid, relaxed sexual organs wanting to be left alone
Eighteen fully-clothed cowboys wanting to read a good book
Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch
Standing around and not wanting to engage in homosexuality
Ram Ranch really rocks

[Verse 1: The Fart Nibbaz and Sam Cheeseman]
Wholesome, good-looking cowboys, their sense of dignity throbbing hard
Eighteen more wild cowboys out in the yard
Big bulging backpacks ever so full of camping equipment

[Verse 2: The Fart Nibbaz, Regan, and Rhys]
Complimentary shampoo in the showers at Ram Ranch
Big, hard math problems like a breed of ram wanting to think about algebra
Big, hard throbbing comic books being read real deep
Cowboys even dreaming about Batman in their sleep
Ram Ranch, it rocks

[Verse 3]
Cowboys love big, hard throbbing comic books
Eighteen types of soap in the showers at Ram Ranch
Big, hard throbbing copper bells wanting to be rang
Eighteen enthusiastic cowboys wanting to take part
Warm towels in the showers at Ram Ranch
On their knees wanting to suck cowboy comic books
Ram Ranch really rocks