So when I was born, the nurses laughed hysterically
They'd never seen anything quite like me, apparently
I'll never forget it, I can still hear them joking
One said, "My goodness, what has God been smoking?"
So when I was born, I learned to control my tears
When they carried me all through town and left a trail of broken mirrors
Yes, when children see me, they scream and run away
They're absolutely right, Halloween's my favorite holiday
I am a monster, I am a mutant, a freak of nature
I'vе heard all the highfalutin nomenclaturе

Can't you see I'm much more than you think?
I've heard it all so many times
Everybody knows I'm so much more than a freak
If you wanna try to hurt me, you'd better get in line

You just have to sit. I get it, it makes sense
When you have your talent for clever, vicious comments
My heart's not even angry, that's just the way it breaks
Don't be so tough on God, everybody makes mistakes
Yes, one sight of me could make a statue cry
'Cause when the pigeons land on me, they shit themselves and die
Whichever way I look at you, can't find a tasteful side
A specimen like you belongs in formaldehyde
Yes, what you've heard is true, I am not a rumor
I'm living proof that God has a sick sense of humor