[Verse 1: Uncle Dane]
My name is Uncle
Dane, I have a dream about a
Team that would help
Me setup my Sentry Gun
And there's a Pyro
Leaving me all alone
But he doesn't know who I am
And this team don't give a damn about me

[Chorus: Uncle Dane]
'Cause they're just my shitty teammates, baby
Yeah, they're just my shitty teammates, baby
Taking my metal in setup, baby, from me
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[Verse 2: Uncle Dane]
This Medic's a dick
He takes out his needle gun
I'd honestly kick
If half my team knew how useless
This guy is being
I tell him, “Suck on my ween.”
But he doesn't care where I am
And this team don’t give a damn about me
[Chorus: Uncle Dane]
'Cause I'm just a shitty teammate, baby
Yeah, I'm just a shitty teammate baby
Complain about losing the PUB now, baby, why me?
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[Bridge: Uncle Dane]
Oh yeah, I nag
And, they shoot their guns but they’re missin’
Oh yeah, they’re bad
Oh, they shoot their guns but they’re missin’

[Verse 3: Uncle Dane & ChiliOfDestiny]
Man, I'm feelin' old
I'm on roof and I'm lonely
Lo and behold
Someone comes over to me
A friendly Scout
But I have my doubt
How does he know who I am?
And why does he give a damn about me?
I've got this roof on lockdown, I'll spy-check, baby
Guard you as you build your gun up, safely
'Cause I'm just a shitty teammate, baby, like you
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
[Outro: Uncle Dane]
Oh yeah, we'll frag
Oh, they shoot their guns but they’re missin'
Oh yeah, we'll frag
Oh, they shoot their guns but they’re missin'
Yeah! Doo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
The ooh's, yeah!